Chastity and orgasm denial discussion

As I mentioned before, while I am no psychoanalyst, there are plenty of online comments about how men do SO much more for their wives and show greater attentiveness around the house etc. But how many wives have actually said, “Hang on… why the feck do you need chastity to be like this?? Why can’t you just love me enough to act that way ALL the time without it being a kink?” This might have been asked here before – maybe I am asking the completely wrong question in the right place. If it vanishes into a black hole, no worries!:-). But I am just curious – is there a definitive answer for guys? I saw one earlier where the husband said, “Well… to be honest, my main concern was able my chronic masturbation habit, but being more attentive to you my love is simply a by-product of this magic lock down!” That seemed to work! Anyway… any thoughts on why men aren’t like that generally or are most of us really just selfish sods (I know I am!!)