Introductions discussion

Greetings everyone! I’ve recently joined but I’m no stranger to this community. For more than two years, I lived in chastity before needing (fingers crossed) a temporary cage removal because of a health issue. My mistress/wife owns me; she adores the lifestyle and was quite let down by the break but agreed it made sense for my situation until things settle. She still keeps me on track—she’s not exactly a harsh domme, yet you don’t want to cross her if you value your peace. We split household tasks in some ways: I take care of all cooking and kitchen cleaning, plus grocery shopping (except for those small trips we need occasionally). I also tidy the bathrooms and showers/tub, make beds, and drive my child to daycare before heading to work, even though my wife is currently unemployed. She handles other housekeeping duties and does a lot of laundry, which I really appreciate. So essentially, she runs me pretty well lol! Punishments haven’t been her strong suit; the mistress doesn’t enjoy cage teasing much (when I was locked up), it was mostly keeping the cage on. Usually, she lets me have a release about every 10 days by then I’m usually dripping wet, and that’s also when she starts craving attention herself. She desires daily orgasms or pleasure sessions like some women here prefer; she likes to hold off because she claims her own climaxes become stronger and more intense. To emasculate me, she has me wear a pair of very short leather shorts. She loves watching my perfect rear end perform chores while I’m dressed in them. She enjoys the scent of the leather as it warms up from my movement and slight sweat; I have to admit, I love that smell too. As our chastity journey progressed, so did my craving for emasculation and feminization. It wasn’t always this way at first; simply being chaste and submissive to my wife was enough back then, but something inside me shifted. About a year into the lifestyle, I really wanted some degree of feminization. I asked if she’d let me wear a girly apron for chores. The limit so far has been those leather short shorts. That worked okay, but the internal urge to be emasculated and feminized kept growing while I ignored it. I thought maybe being chaste so long was making me crave other types of pleasure. I love anal stimulation and stretching—something my mistress does with her fingers—but she doesn’t particularly enjoy using a strapon on me. She’s tried it a few times, but it wasn’t really for her. Once she almost fit her whole fist inside; I think she was slightly annoyed with me about something that day haha. A few months ago, I went through some of my mistress’s play outfits. Over our relationship, I bought her several vinyl and PVC ensembles before she became my mistress. Seeing her in them always looked lovely to me; she never failed to look beautiful. She hadn’t worn them much lately, so they’ve been sitting upstairs in a box out of sight. That afternoon was actually the first time alone in quite a while. With some cleaning left to do, I thought it would be fun to don her black vinyl French maid outfit for the task. I pulled out the poofy uniform and apron, headpiece, elbow-length gloves, pink frilly crotchless panties, and fishnet stockings. Fortunately, my mistress and I are roughly similar in size; she’s a full-figured woman—not fat at all, just beautiful and curvy where it counts—so most outfits I bought her can fit me. I put on the uniform, starting with the panties (letting my cage pop through the opening), then stockings, slipped into the dress, and zipped up the back. I sat there debating between matching flats or thigh-high boots; I chose the flats knowing the boots would be tight on my feet. Don’t forget to add the headpiece! And obviously, keep that large buttplug in place;) I cleaned the house for about two hours until it sparkled. It was a delightful experience wearing that French maid outfit! After finishing chores, I washed and stored the outfit, waiting for my mistress to return home. I truly enjoyed myself but knew it would be more of an occasional treat rather than daily life. My mistress is quite turned off by crossdressing, so I’m fairly sure there isn’t much future in that direction for me personally. Not a huge deal since it’s not really my core thing… or so I thought. When we decided to pause the cage, I expected to feel less submissive and revert to some old habits. At first, I did return to those ways, except for all the masturbation I used to do frequently. I masturbated a couple of times during this break, but it didn’t carry much weight because my mistress hadn’t explicitly granted permission. It seems conditioning has taken hold; masturbating lost its spark after over two years of being told when I could cum. Realizing that solo pleasure had diminished was followed by an overwhelming urge to be chastised and sissified again. Then it hit me: all those outfits I bought for my mistress over the years were really meant for me! They weren’t slutty gowns with deep cleavage or tiny G-strings; they were mostly sissy-style, big puffy pink and white ensembles that were actually somewhat conservative. The only outfit she truly loved from the closet full was a black vinyl dress intended for a dominatrix. I didn’t fully grasp this at first, but then it clicked: my core fantasy is about myself in these outfits being dominated by my strong, beautiful wife. Now that I’ve been out of the cage for a while, my desire to be her sissy maid has become overwhelming. I never thought I’d say it, but deep down, I am a submissive sissy maid. I want to dress up to serve my wife and wear the cage to keep me subservient and under her thumb. It wouldn’t bother me if she took on another lover to fulfill her alpha male fantasies, as long as she lets me be involved however possible. For now, none of that is happening; she’s not into sissification or cuckolding currently. I’ll just enjoy her mistress behavior and chastity as they are. Perhaps, if I let a bit of my sissy side show occasionally here and there, she might accept it in small doses, and maybe one day I’ll become her full-time house sissy maid; we can only hope. I suppose these tendencies have been lurking for some time now, especially with the realization about the outfits I’d bought over the years. When I first started chastity, I chuckled at forum questions from men wondering or worrying about sissification… I used to think you just knew if it was what you wanted. At that time, I honestly didn’t think I did… but now? I’m craving my sissy outfits and being treated as a sissy by my mistress. Apologies for the long intro; please call me Sissymaidjenny!:( )