Chastity and orgasm denial discussion

member_a2a76baad1 · 2026-09-08T07:52:34.000Z · 0 replies

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member_a2a76baad1 Key contributor Thread starter
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2026-09-08T07:52:34.000Z #1

My wife and I have always enjoyed teasing and denial with my penis constantly locked. Even while my wife was the dominant partner in our sex life, I remained the one steering our marriage. My wife is very submissive by nature, but it can be tricky when someone takes charge of your pleasure rather than theirs; you often struggle to decide what actions will please her.

Tonight she gave me an order. When I asked for details, she explained that after sharing my body with other women for most of our marriage, it was finally her turn to take control. It’s strange because for 44 years I’ve just told her to ask and I’ll do whatever she wants. Her usual reply is that I shouldn’t have to be told; I should figure things out on my own. That has always been the source of friction with my wife, leading to emotional reactions when things didn’t go as she hoped. Usually, things work in my favor because I ask for what I want. I don’t expect people to read my mind.

Despite this, she claims she won’t tell me what to do, yet tonight she did just that. One factor is that all her friends are in their 70s and have husbands with various medical issues, meaning their wives have had to step up as the leaders of the household. My wife has watched this dynamic for six years, and I believe it’s finally sinking in. The older ladies chat frequently, and my wife often looks to me before committing to anything. She reminded me that after sharing me with her best friend and others during our 37-year marriage, she is now ready to lead. She pointed out how she allowed one-on-one sex between me and her girlfriends and was the one who invited them into our bed.

My wife isn’t particularly keen on sex herself, though she orgasms in under three minutes about 99% of the time. Tonight, despite claiming a headache and fever, she sat on my face—the first time since her hip replacement years ago—grabbed my hair, and rubbed against me until she reached an orgasm. The first one happened within a minute and was small; the second came in the next minute and was much larger. Then she got up and left without another word.

I’m not sure what to make of it. I used to think that sex where I didn’t get an orgasm was just fake, but now she feels no guilt about it and truly believes sex is for her benefit, not mine.

I appreciate my wife becoming more assertive and encourage this growth in her. However, our marriage won’t become a Dominance/submission (D/s) one. I don’t understand why men assume that if they step back from running the show, their wives automatically become Mistresses. When men lead, it isn’t because they are domming their wives, so why should the roles reverse? In our retirement community of over 150,000 seniors, many women manage the household affairs without these being driven by sexual fetish reasons.

Furthermore, my wife has a low libido; her girlfriends only have sex with their husbands on birthdays and anniversaries, which suits my wife fine. Another significant change I’ve noticed recently is that I rarely get horny anymore, even though I haven’t had an orgasm in three weeks. My wife’s training to extend the time between orgasms is working. Porn bores me now, as do the days when I’d try to achieve erection while caged just by seeing a bikini-clad woman on TV.

It could be old age and low testosterone. Before we started using chastity devices, I couldn’t go more than a day without masturbating; it was almost necessary before bed. I even did it after hospital surgery or when sleeping in barracks with 60 men. Now, the desire is gone.

So, what exactly is happening? My wife doesn’t want to be a Mistress; she actually gets annoyed if I call her that. I think my once-virgin wife is finally realizing that men can be controlled through their penis. Only time will tell.

member_1c463aebed, member_6e8e377651 and 3 others

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