- Posts
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- Joined
- Jan 1970
When I first began my current journey of self-discovery and fulfillment, chastity wasn’t part of the picture. It turns out these discoveries have reshaped how I view fulfillment itself. I’m much happier now than I was two months ago, and I hope to share some of that here.
GF and I had a solid love life before, leaning toward the non-traditional side, with her most at ease in a submissive role. We’re both entering middle age; as our hormones and energy levels dipped, things naturally slowed down, which was fine. Sure, we missed our youthful exuberance a bit, but it felt natural, understood, and acceptable.
A couple of years ago, GF suffered a significant blow to her career that shattered her self-confidence, drive, and mood. She became depressed, and this knocked the wind out of our sex life quite hard.
Meanwhile, my career shift protected me from the same hit. My professional life has brought joy and growing success, lifting my spirits while sharpening my focus on the frustrations at home. GF had to deal with health issues that made many of our previous activities off-limits, so when we did manage sexual engagement, it was less satisfying for both of us.
I entertained myself as best I could—elaborately when I found time alone, indulging in my submissive leanings and kinks. Otherwise, it was quick relief: hurried wanks over the toilet or sneaky quiet masturbation while lying next to her sleeping form. When her health worsened this winter and she stayed home constantly, those elaborate indulgences ceased completely. And I started going a bit mad.
Her most recent health emergency finally stabilized a couple of months ago, leading into an extended recovery period. She had lost 30 pounds, not in a good way—she was weak, prone to joint injuries, unable to work or help much around the house, and needing assistance with her personal care. I was tired, frustrated, and dabbling in resentment. This led to some conversations. Being a caregiver is something I’ve done before during my marriage, so I had experience managing that stress. Thus, I began introducing elements of play.