Strap-on guidance

One I can wear while pleasing my wife as long as I stay locked up. I need advice from those of you who have used them regarding where to buy, which are best, etc. I realize everyone has different preferences but I am looking for a good starting point. I do know that she would like the dildo to be as lifelike in texture as possible. A nice bonus would be if it vibrated. One more thing and I’m not sure if it’s available is that right before my orgasm, she says she can feel my cock swell. That sudden increase in size is what really gets her going. Don’t know if they make one that will inflate by remote or pump but thought I’d throw that idea out there. Any help would be greatly appreciated.