Journals and blogs discussion

> Dylan57 said: > 5/24/19 > Today marked day 7 of my self locking target of one month. Is it a little too soon to be proud of myself? (Seven days being my longest locking so far in my fairly recent chastity experience). Apart from having the occasional urge to masturbate only to touch steel, so far my biggest frustration has been trying to have a conversation with my half deaf mother in law. I have a feeling that I've only seen the tip of the frustration iceberg. It's amazing how easy it is to take a good wank for granted. I think I will either adapt fairly quickly or become a frustrated Onan the Barbarian. More random thoughts to follow. > Click to expand... 7 days (recent PB) to one month: that's quite a leap.

congratulations. every marathon begins with the first steps..........enjoy the frustration.

> Dylan57 said: > 5/24/19 > Today marked day 7 of my self locking target of one month. Is it a little too soon to be proud of myself? (Seven days being my longest locking so far in my fairly recent chastity experience). Apart from having the occasional urge to masturbate only to touch steel, so far my biggest frustration has been trying to have a conversation with my half deaf mother in law. I have a feeling that I've only seen the tip of the frustration iceberg. It's amazing how easy it is to take a good wank for granted. I think I will either adapt fairly quickly or become a frustrated Onan the Barbarian. More random thoughts to follow. > Click to expand... I'll keep you strong - 5/24 was day 7 being locked for me as well. I don't think it'll be a full month because I've got things I need to test, but another week is not out of the question.

Perhaps I should explain. As I am self locked I decided that the best way to replicate the whims of a keyholder was to download a wheel of fortune type app and assign a different lock up time to each pie slice, as well as 1 or 2 days unlocked, an orgasm pie slice, an edging for 1 hr pie slice, etc. If I land on an Orgasm or edging slice, I have to lock up immediately after I'm done. I call it The Wheel of Chastity. Wouldn't you know that my FIRST spin of the wheel went just over the line and instead of getting 1 Day, I got 1 Month. As I promised myself I would abide by the wheel's decision, 1 month it is. I have a very strict keyholder.:lock::+1: So I decided to share this experiment with any here who are interested.

You mentioned you mother-in-law, but is your wife part of your chastity experience? Is she your KH?

Due to physical problems my wife lost all interest in sex. It was only recently that I learned of Chastity and cages. I decided to formalize what I had been doing for the last 10 years so I began experimenting with locking up, finally hitting on a Jailbird. I told her of my interest in chastity and that I had bought a cage. She told me as long as I was ok she was ok with it but showed no other interest. So I don't presently have a keyholder. I am fine with the current situatiion as I don't want to take on too much all at once. Baby steps.

5/27/19 Day 10 of my goal of 1 month. Time does seem to drag with more than 2 weeks to go. Tonight I want to address something other than orgasm denial. I'm finding out that frustration comes in many forms. For instance, using a men's room in a restaurant, movie theater, etc. I've found it's easier to urinate if I unfasten my jeans to pull out my cage, which is something I'd rather not do while someone is standing at the urinal next to me or might walk in while my open jeans are sagging at my hips. The obvious solution is the stall which might be unoccupied if the establishment has one at all. This is frustration with the addition of possible humiliation. I recognize that some of us might see that as a bonus, lol. And the seats in the stalls tend to be kinda sketchy. So it seems that wearing jeans out while locked is not a good idea in terms of using men's rooms. And I've seen bars which have a communal trough instead of urinals. So if you're going out drinking, it's a good idea to know what kind of facilities the place has before you have no choice where you go. Just a word to the wise. Of course your keyholder might want to bring you to such a place for just that reason. That's all for tonight.

So what are you doing to keep the key secure? You also may find it helpful if you can use internet filters to keep you away from erotica. You may also want to invest in a Kitchen Safe so that you have a $55 dollar penalty for taking it off earlier since you can only open it when the timer goes off or destroy it. The max time is 10 days but you can set it for 10 days then take out the batteries. Your time won't start until the batteries go back in.

> Dylan57 said: > 5/27/19 > Day 10 of my goal of 1 month. Time does seem to drag with more than 2 weeks to go. Tonight I want to address something other than orgasm denial. I'm finding out that frustration comes in many forms. For instance, using a men's room in a restaurant, movie theater, etc. I've found it's easier to urinate if I unfasten my jeans to pull out my cage, which is something I'd rather not do while someone is standing at the urinal next to me or might walk in while my open jeans are sagging at my hips. The obvious solution is the stall which might be unoccupied if the establishment has one at all. This is frustration with the addition of possible humiliation. I recognize that some of us might see that as a bonus, lol. And the seats in the stalls tend to be kinda sketchy. So it seems that wearing jeans out while locked is not a good idea in terms of using men's rooms. And I've seen bars which have a communal trough instead of urinals. So if you're going out drinking, it's a good idea to know what kind of facilities the place has before you have no choice where you go. Just a word to the wise. Of course your keyholder might want to bring you to such a place for just that reason. That's all for tonight. > Click to expand... I know what you mean! I always undo the button of my trousers to use a urinal. I do however wear a belt (normal, not chastity:)) and this keeps my trousers up whilst still giving more room. I don't know what underwear you use but I find it easier just to pull the waist band down at the front and lift my cock and balls clear! With regards to people seeing your cage, I find that it's small enough to keep fairly well covered with my hand. Still not really good if it's very busy! Once finished it requires a bit of adjustment to get everything back in but you soon get the idea! Hope that helps.

Jessica, I am approaching this as a test of will power, so the key resides in my desk. To approximate the teasing of a key holder I make a point of periodically viewing porn. It's not only about denial, the teasing has it's place in the experience. Chaste J, I do the same thing with my underwear, lifting out both cock and balls over the waistband. I wear pouch underwear for support when not wearing the belt which I MacGyvered from a strap on harness. I cut it down so that a centered loop would support the cage. You can seee it in my gallery

5/31. Day 14 locked. I read somewhere that you only begin to experience the reality of chastity *after *being locked for 2 weeks. So based on that things should become more intense and interesting during the second half of my scheduled chastity. I find that a somewhat daunting possibility. When washing I make it a point not to touch my penis (washcloth only) although I'm not certain whether that makes chastity easier or not. The purpose of denial of skin to skin contact could be viewed as either character building or focused punishment. Personally I'm not a big fan of chastity as punishment, but rather as a participatory experience. Potato/pahtato. I have found myself thinking fondly of masturbation. Fondly of fondling, so to speak. The phantom keyholder who resides in my imagination has been whispering for me to watch a litttle porn to up my sexual frustration. I think I'll create a Wheel of Teasing to determine when/if such teasing should take place. The idea here is to insure that decisions are made randomly and not the way I might want them to. I want to expand the self-locking experience but realize I might be following in someone else's footsteps. To boldly go but not to cum. Couldn't resist that.

Erotica is only setting yourself up to fail. Try to free your mind of the modern enticements of erotica. You may want to limit yourself to even using this website sparingly. Modern man is exposed to so much erotica in modern times and they are not equipped to handle it. Otherwise, you will just end up in a horned up frenzy without any release.

6/1 Hi Jessica. Thanks for your reply. I am approaching chastity as a way of dealing with a sexless life (something I've had for about 10 years now) without denying my own sexuallity. The use of porn replaces the teasing that a wife/girlfriend/keyholder would engage in. What you are talking about sounds like the Buddhist concept of "emptiness", which is not what I'm going for right now. As an example, this morning my wife and I were in bed cuddling. Her hand accidentally brushed my cage. I told her what it was. She said, "I know" and that was the end of it. I tried to talk about it with her but she had no interest in the subject. Now that's frustration. So I'm trying to do solo what others do with an engaged partner. That said, I do appreciate your thoughts on the subject.

6/5 (very early morning) Just passed 18 days locked in my cage. I found I'm thinking about sex a lot which soon has my cock straining at the cage bars. (gallery photos) It's a new level of frustration for me, but I'm determined to last the full month. While that is only 12 more days, it seems longer right now. I had a sex dream last night that woke me up. Been a while since that happened! At 61, I thought I was finished with them. Had I not been wearing the cage I would have masturbated right then and there. Instead I calmed down and eventually went back to sleep. Not being able to masturbate gives me the sensation of leaking precum even when I'm not. Most of it leaks out through my PA, which can't be easily seen while caged. I wonder if anyone else has experienced this. At weaker moments I ask myself why I'm putting myself through this, but then I remember that it's partially to assert mastery over my own urges no matter how desperate they seem. Orgasm denial touches the very basic part of male identity. Hit puberty, start to masturbate. It's who we are as males. To conquer that, whether by turning that power over to a key holder or to fly solo, requires a commitment we are not usually called upon to make. Even marriage does not ask the husband to surrender his sexual activity/identity to his wife's whim, with no guarantee of ever having another orgasm. That's all the meandering thoughts for now.

> buildup said: > 7 days (recent PB) to one month: that's quite a leap. > Click to expand... 19 days now. Getting there!

Hi bulldup, thanks for the encouragement. I passed my personal best after 7 days. Now it's all uncharted territory both physically and emotionally. For instance, having my urine stream shoot off to the side and have to struggle to correct it due to the position of my penis in the cage becomes more aggravating the longer I have to contend with it. Especially as it doesn't always happen. Force of habit and expected ease keeps me from sitting to pee. I suppose that if I make an effort to make sitting my normal way of doing things, I would eventually do so without thinking about it. At least at home. Have a good day.:lock:

6/8. 22 days locked up. Just over a week to go before I complete 1 month in chastity. So far I've unlocked for washing and once to apply a damp cloth due to a sore scrotum. I figure that was bound to happen as the constant pressure of the steel ring takes getting used to. I would like to know if anyone who' s spent extended periods of time locked has noticed a toughening of the skin. This is the sort of information it is difficult to find. Anyway, I expect I'll manage this upcoming week fairly well. I've noticed that I'm more aware of being in the condition of orgasm denial. The first couple of weeks you adapt to a relatively minor inconvenience. The third week in I began to feel the frustration of not getting full erections, much less orgasms, over a period of time. It's hard to appreciate such things until you're denied them, whether through self locking or surrender of the privilege to a key holder. While I never intended to look at chastity as an endurance contest but rather as a way of experiencing how something so fundamental as erections/orgasms aren't necessary but desired, much like an addiction, I've found them to be an unexpectedly powerfull force. I can understand how men who are commmited to chastity find having a keyholder to be an integral or even necessary part of the experience. I can't help but wonder if the Wheel of Chastity will land on "1 Month" again, when I have to spin it in 8 days. Interesting that I now think of it as* having* to spin it rather than it being a choice. I also noticed, as my month approaches, a certain pride in having been locked up for a good period of time. I wear my cage with a sense of pride. It's true, chastity does change you.

6/10 My sack continues to be sore from the pressure of the ring pressing against it. I am beginning to think I should take the device off for maybe a few days so as not to cause any harm. I'm a firm believer in "listen to your body". Maybe I just have to be more gradual in toughening up the skin. If I choose to do this I won't look on this as a failure but rather as correcting the mistake of attempting too much too soon. Affter all, 3 weeks locked isn't bad. Will decide tonight what I'll do. I'll update this sometime tomorrow.

6/11, 11pm Well the soreness seems to have passed, so I've just locked up again and will hope to have a comfortable night. As a reminder of my chastity, I put my PA back in during my unlocked time. The hole had become smaller in the couple of months it was out so I wound up trading one soreness for another. I had tried wearing both PA and cage at the same time but found it a bit too uncomfortable. BTW, I have had my PA for years and am new to the cage. I have read that some people get a PA as further security but I guess I'm a bit backwards. More to follow.:lock:

6/13 Four days to go to complete my month locked up. But who's counting?:lock:

6/17 Whew, there were a couple of bumps in the road but I did make my month. It was eye-opening how aware of my body I became. Just sitting down became a new experience. Of course I speak as someone new to being locked. A few years ago I had a stroke followed by a heart attack. As a result I found my erections were not getting as big as they had been for this grower, so my natural male insecurity kicked in, making me concerned that my penis would retreat even further due to being restricted from full growth. However it could just be my imagination. Also, I found myself thinking about how chastity runs the gamut of occasional bedroom play to a 24/7 flr incorporating b&d and/or s&m. In short, there is no right or wrong way to do chastity and it is a source of pride that the chastity community is inclusive, accepting and welcoming. I have just spun the Wheel of Chastity for tomorrow and came up with an orgasm to be followed by 3 more days locked. The big experiment continues.

Thanks, tinykev.

As I self-lock, I decided to add another level of surrendering control over my chastity to my phantom kh by purchasing an electronic padlock. After fitting it to my cage I can set a fixed time, open for cleaning and reset the timer. It should be one more reminder of access denial. Waiting for it to arrive. Wondering if anyone else has tried this lock.:lock:

Well, the lock doesn't fit the device so I use it instead to secure the key. Ingenuity.

10-18-19 The lock didn't fit the Jailbird so I use it to lock the keys. Ingenuity! Testing the feel of a more restrictive cage, a Holy Trainer knockoff. Inside diameter of the tube is tight when flacid and too short as soon as I try to get hard. Shuts down any erection growth right away. I find this both distracting and erotic. That must be my inner sub talking. As a grower, when not getting an erection, I fit into the cage compressed but comfortably. With this device any skin to skin contact is impossible. I have become almost constantly aware of my penis by how much it 's pressing against the tube. Have learned to treasure erections and orgasms. Even a ruined O relieves some built up pressure. 45 days without a release with 2 more weeks of denial scheduled before I can spin the Wheel again. And as an added refinement, should the Wheel land on allowing for an O, a second wheel is spun with an even chance it will be denied, and I'll have to lock up again without a release. Better luck next time.

10-20-19 Realized there's a slight problem with the new device. Urine does not fully drain from the tube necessitating frequent cleaning, making it unsuitable for long term lockup. So it's back in the Jailbird. I've adjusted the Wheel for less frequent spins which makes for fewer chances for orgasms per month. This should build up anticipation and frustration while promising nothing. It could easily be months before the next one. Here's a fun thought: it could even be a year or more. Yikes! I have ordered a Chinese steel cage (designated A271, is anyone familiar with this?) to continue testing a more restrictive device which will prohibit erections as well as orgasm, for extended lockup . The journey continues.

10-23-19 More thoughts about the Holy Trainer. My go-to cage is the Jailbird which allows for relatively considerable growth when aroused and some increase in girth. Now the new HT requires concerted stuffing when flacid and allows a slight lengthing when aroused. In other words, I can get a little growth when trying to get erect and absolutely no thickening as I started out with a tight fit. I reiterate this to lead up to my new insight about using the HT: when aroused while wearing it, the HT is uncomfortable or downright painful. I believe that this is the level of frustration sought after that I've read about. I had looked at a porn clip a little earlier resulting in ...well the attempt at an erection. Perhaps a "nonrection"? I never wanted out of the cage so badly! The pressure felt like it wouldn't go away and I knew I wouldn't have an orgasm while locked. My focus was entirely on my cock and how trapped it was, how much I wanted to finish that erection and get the release of an orgasm. I wanted to rip the cage off me, like Superman would free Lois Lane from evil clutches. It was the part of chastity I hadn't really experienced until today, not to that extreme. I am actually proud of myself for not getting the key from my desk. No wonder chastity is an excellent tool to train /control a sub or slave. The mere possibility of release from that level of frustration, that discomfort, could easily cause a man to readily surrender his will to his KH. Tease and denial would be a way of asserting dominance and forging a bond as strong as the best of marriages, almost religious in it's ritual. Well those are my thoughts on the subject to date. Thanks for reading.

10-26-19 Here's something I hadn'd planned on. Earlier I had decided to spin the Wheel of Chastity to see what awaited me for the next 30 days or so. Total orgasm denial. So I took another spin. And then another. You get the idea. The results for now through December 2020 are a few scattered ruined Os and one O in November of next year and one in December. To put it another way, my next orgasm is a little over a year away. Maybe I'll learn to play an instrument. Wow, that was Freudian!

1-28-19 The new cage arrived today . Happy to say the base ring fits perfectly and the cage itself provides the shortness and compression I was looking for. And the lightness makes it comfortable. I think it's gonna be my daily wear chastity.

One thing about the new cage is that it slides down until it snugs against the balls. I suppose that's normal, nothing to be concerned about.

Your story is very interesting. Your will power is beyond normal, to know that you can remove the cage at any time and you still don’t is commendable a lot of people would have given in to their sexual urges. The thing with Chastity is most of it has nothing to do with what’s between your legs. It more about what’s between your ears, conditioning your mind to except that no matter what your cock isn’t going to grow to it’s full potential and having an orgasm isn’t something that will happen anytime soon. I still strongly believe that Chastity doesn’t start untill you Really want the cage removed and it won’t be removed. Getting to this mind set to me in my opinion anyway can’t be reached when you always have access to the key. Your mind always knows that you can unlock at any time. I understand it’s very difficult for some people to find someone to take control and hold their key so they do like you have and make it work. This is only my opinion but when you have No access to a key and No control over when or if you will be released your mind excepts Chastity in a completely different way. It’s not connected to anything sexual anymore it’s apart of who you are. Like I said your story and will power is incredible. Congratulations on your accomplishments. Chastity is different for everyone.

I agree that my current situation has the psychological and physical back door of instant release. A timed lock box would be a solution but I want to make certain I have the right device, one that will fit comfortably for long term wear. That process includes regular inspections to check for abrasions, etc. I also have some concern about how locks are affected bby soapy water, and the general reliability and sturdiness of the low profile lock (the one that slides in/out on the key). There is also the worry of doing some damage to having my penis locked for extended periods. No point in getting a timer box until I'm satisfied about those issues. So far the new cage is the most impressive. I can order the smaller ring next week as the seller is on vacation until then. Other than having a key holder, the timed box is best because I realize that my chastity is my decision moment to moment, which removes a level of frustration and surrender of control. I can even see timing the box for regular washing/inspections and then relocking for another month or whatever period of access denial makes sense. While a kh can make that decision, I will have to plan ahead. I think I'm closing in on getting this right. Thanks for your interest and advice.

11-11-19 Just looked at a calendar and found out it's been 69 days without the release of an orgasm. A new personal best by a long shot. No pun intended.

11-11-19 part 2 I had an aha moment earlier while responding to a comment in one of my galleries. I was writing about how when my small cage is showing through my underwear, it represents the size of my cock which while locked, is small. And unless it springs back when unlocked, it will remain a small cock. Which makes me wonder if it will return to normal size. Or is small my new normal? Would the sensible thing be to tuck it away in a full belt giving me a smooth front and stop agonizing over it or just stop obsessing and keep going as I am. Except for ego, size doesn't really matter any more and I'm probably overthinking it.

HI @Dylan57, you have posted some great pictures, my opinion is stop obsessing and keep going as you are, ego is just In our minds, we all are what we are, which is what makes us individual and special, never second guess yourself for being you, be proud of who you are and what you are, never lose the true you, stay as you are and enjoy being yourself,

Thanks, sissybitch. Wise words. Just a passing bout of insecurity. BTW, glad you liked the photos

Just checked. 90 days without release. Unlocked for cleaning only. 1 exception was able to j.o. today racing a random timer. I lost and had to lock back up without even a ruined o, more frustrated than before. Rules are rules. Later wife asked if I was still wearing the cage. When I said yes she gave me a little smile and went back to her book. First remote sign of interest in chastity. I don't want to make anything of it. Just wait and see.

12-6-19 I mentioned to the wife that this coming Thursday (12-12) will mark 100 continuous days locked with normal exceptions made for cleaning. And 124 days orgasm free. She seemed surprised and said she wanted to think about that and we'd talk about it Thursday. Maybe I'll get a cupcake with a candle in it. Or a scolding. Time will tell. Meantime I will try not to obsess over the upcoming day 100.

A surprising thing happened early this morning. My wife and I were dozing in bed holding hands when I gently placed her hand on my cage. She didn't move her hand away, as she has done other times. Eventuslly she rolled over so I did the same, spooning her, slowly humping between her ass cheeks. Again there was no resistance. Later I asked her to hold my cage enclosed cock, which she did. I explained to her that I needed her touch, and the concept of randomly turning me on with her hand without any completion. In other words, tease and denial. She said ok but sounded unsure about it. In all fairness it is an unusual request. I also told her that my cage would not allow me to get erections or ejaculate. She seemed tentatively on board with this unexpected proposal. This might sound minor but believe me, it was a major step. As might be expected, even the possibility of her even limited participation makes me happy. Unfortunately she has a habit of misplacing or even losing things, currently her cell phone. Obviously I won't suggest she be my key holder. Talk about permanent chastity!

Thanks to Sissygal, bondinchas, and tomf_22033 for reading my journal. I feel like something will happen this week. I don't want to reiterate what I've writtten earlier, but I'm sure she has no interest in chastity except to discuss it. That openness is what I'm hoping for. We shall see. Sissygal, I like your red corset.

12-9-19 I tried to bring up the subject of chastity today but she cut me off saying she had told me we would discuss it Thursday to mark 100 days locked. The no nonsense tone shut me right up. I feel like I screwed up being impatient. I hate it when she's annoyed.

12-12-19 Reached 100 days locked this morning. But the big event was being nudged by my wife at midnight. She said it was Thursday and time for the talk. I figured she'd wait until after breakfast, but that shows how little I know. So we talked about Chastity, me telling her some of the different ways people approach it as I've learned here. I would be submissive to her, not a slave. This meant that our relationship would not incorporate pain. We discussed and agreed that caning, etc was not our thing. She told me she had expected me to bring up the subject of chastity again and wanted to be ready for it. So she did some research. This was a couple of months ago. I had no idea. So we agreed we ought to write down the rules we would both adhere to. Next surprise was she had already written down rules. She added to it based on our conversation. Here is what she presented to me: 1. In private, wife is to be addressed as Sir when she puts on a decorative key necklace. I would be refered to as sub. No name. 2. Always defer to Sir at home and in public. 3. Keep pubic hair shaved smooth. 4. Will be given daily chores. 5. With the exception of medical appointments, and hygene maintenance, sub will be locked at all times. There are no "Free Days." 6. Do not ask for sex, you aren't getting any. At this point she handed me a small box. She said "this is for you". It contained a micro cage. She really had planned this thoroughly. She then told me as she knew we would agree that she would not beat me, she needed to think of another form of punishment, something both physical and mental. So she added item 7 . 7. Punishment will consist of no less than 1 week in the micro. No appeals. Wear panties provided by Sir when locked in micro and whenever told to. Do not complain, you asked for this. I never expected that she would embrace this so completely. She told me that I could stop at any time but if I did, that would be the end of it. It was in her power to suspend Chastity, but if I wanted to stop, it would be permanent. The sudden reversal threw me. This was our first exchange of power. My answer would literally decide the rest of my life. I said "yes".

- But we weren't finished. After breakfast, Sir explained that as i had annoyed her with talk of chastity, she would punish me today. She told me to put on the new cage in the bedroom and return for her to see. She handed me a key with the lock. I found it difficult to get the cage pins aligned properly with the ring. Eventually I succeeded and returned for inspection. She said something like "wow, it's gone!" Sir then told me to put my hands behind my back while she she stroked, squeezed and lifted the new package. Sh said that I wouldn't see her dick again until she lets me out next Thursday. She then let go of me and handed me a new pair of red panties. She didn't say anything so I put them on. Cute, she said. I handed her the key. Sir had me kneel and padlocked a chain around my neck with the other cage key attached to it with a link. She told me the padlock key and the spare key were going into a piggy bank which she would glue shut. She then told me that to avoid confusion when she tells me to put it on, she would give the cage a name. She said it's name is Holly, after Holly Hunter, a very small actress, because the cage is small just like the cock inside it. Being able to feel my cock pushed inside me, I realized she was right. Sir advised me that there would be more rules later. Sir then told me to get dressed and do the dishes. When I finished we would go shopping. I sit here waiting for us to go.

So we went shopping. I got behind the wheel and Sir stood next to the car. I got it, I got out and held open the passenger door. Sir said Masters don't ride next to subs. Got it. I opened the door to the back seat. Sir got in, I got in and we were off. Sir directed me to a nearby department store. She led me to the women's lingerie section. A saleswoman came over to meet us. She looked to be in her 50s and pretty. Sir said this is the man I told you about. The saleswoman asked what kind of panties I was interested in. I replied as I had been instructed on the drive over. After a selection had been agreed upon, Sir told me to go into the changing room and try on a pair. This I did feeling very self conscious. Sir opened the changing room door and eyed me slowly. She stepped aside revealing the saleswoman standing behind her. The saleswoman said "she's so pretty." They chatted a bit about outfits that would look good on me. I felt myself blush with embarressment. I realized that the saleswoman was a good friend of Sir's and Sir was having fun with my pride. Sir told me to put my pants on and pick up my packages. We drove home in an easy silence. I was told to put away our purchases and join Sir in the living room. Sir then told me she knew that being truly submissive wasn't in my nature but she would train me. Pride and ego were things that a sub should only have in relation to serving his Master. I reflected on Sir having a degree in psychology and how she had done research on chastity for months and how she was better prepared to be a domme than I had realized. Sir smiled and took off her key necklace and kissed me gently. She said quietly, "we're going to have fun." I'm still getting used to wearing Holly. I feel the frequent need to urinate without actually being able to pee. I put this down to the head of my penis pressed against Holly. I expect I will get used to this. It is also a bit disconcerting to reach down to my crotch and not feel my penis, either free or in a cage. I hadn't realized how much of my self image was connected to my penis. I tried on a pair of my pouch underwear and found the pouch to be mostly empty. My balls didn't fill them. I find it frustrating to have to pull down my pants and sit in order to urinate. And then to have to wipe myself afterwards. My body is conditioned to defecate when sitting so I have to learn to isolate the pee urge. This is giving me some small insight into what women have to live with. I am curious how I'll manage this in the city, where not all men's rooms have stalls. I'll have to scope out the men's room situation before having a drink, even it is just club soda. Here is a photo of me wearing Holly. I've learned that the lips protruding from the bowl are super sensitive when they rub against my panties.

Wow, she has really seized the reigns! It must be exciting and very scary turn of events. So what is her story? Does she just not have a libido anymore?

"Yes, I was surprised at how well she took to it, though that shouldn't be a surprise given her intelligence and thoroughness in all things. If I had to guess, she has found a focus and an unexpected way to connect with me which has been missing. She's had a long fight with pain which caused her to retire early. I am impressed with her resilience and loving spirit. But to answer your question, her interest in sex ended years ago. The reason I self locked was that I knew that sex was off the table for us, and as I made a promise "in sickness and in health" chastity seemed the right course.

12-19-19 After a week in the micro I can honestly say that I hate it. The whole sit to pee thing is more than annoying; finding a seat in a restaurant, etc., that I would feel comfortable sitting on was often frustrating, and most important of all is that pee would not completely drain from the cage. Add that to my having sensitive skin, resulted in my now having to take a break from being locked. Learn by doing. Sir rubbed calming cream on my penis and said that as I was sore there she didn't need to worry about my being tempted to masturbate for a few days. I wonder what she'll come up with as a replacement punishment.

12-26-19 No socks this year. Instead I was told Sir had good news and bad news for me. The good news was the present of a pink Cherry Keeper belt with Headlock. Very light, comfortable, and secure, with bars to make it airy, suitable for 24/7 locking. Had to try it on immediately. Love it. Then I was presented with the bad news. I was also gifted with the Cherry Keeper Micro, also in pink, as my new punishment device. Was told to try it on as well. This device defines compression. My cock completely disappeared, the cap part almost totally engulfed by the loose skin of my balls, with only the cock lips peeking out. Sir said she could see my clitty. For all purposes my cock had been removed. A test showed that sitting to pee was absolutely necessary. Fortunately I was told to switch back to the other CK cage after a couple of hours. I think the timing was to make me sweat out the possibility of a much longer time in it, and maybe to plant the thought of permanent shrinkage from long term wearing. I don't know if that's a real concern, but, well, yikes. Sir named the micro " Gigi" after the movie about transforming a young girl into a sophisticated woman. Not sure I like where this might be headed. Below are photos of me wearing the 2 cages.

Strange thing happened yesterday morning around 4:30. We had both woken up and were cuddling when without a word she reached into my pj's and began to fondle my package. I could tell when she touched my cage but had no direct sensation. Then she held my balls and began rubbing and squeezing them. This soon moved from erotic to uncomfortable to slightly painful. I wanted to tell her to go easy but was afraid she'd not be happy with my directing her first sexual touching of me in years and end our new relationhip immediately, so I just lay there and took it. I squirmed, trying not to move, as she squeezed. Without saying a word she removed her hand and rolled over. I caught my breath and found that my cock was trying to get erect, needing desperately to orgasm. It was painful. I was almost in a panic of horniness. I wanted to ask her to unlock me but was certain she would end it because I couldn't take being denied my first erection since she agreed to participate in my chastity. With all my willpower I managed to keep quiet. Eventually my cock stopped straining against the cage, the near overwhelming need for release died down, and I was able to relax. I took her silence as my cue to stay quiet too. I went back to sleep. She made no mention of it nor touched me sexually since. The suspense is an almost physical ache. For the first time I can fully appreciate the phrase "she's got me by the balls." Lol.

> Dylan57 said: > 11-11-19 > Just looked at a calendar and found out it's been 69 days without the release of an orgasm. A new personal best by a long shot. No pun intended. > Click to expand... Congratulations. For someone self-locking this is a considerable achievement and a great inspiration to other self-lockers like myself.

A great diary and what a huge distance you have travelled. There is no doubt that locking a man in chastity can bring about enormous and quite unexpected changes in his outlook and, especially, in his partner's outlook. I think you have probably only just scratched the surface of what your future life will be like. Best wishes for 2020.

> LockedN8 said: > A great diary and what a huge distance you have travelled. There is no doubt that locking a man in chastity can bring about enormous and quite unexpected changes in his outlook and, especially, in his partner's outlook. I think you have probably 8 nonly just scratched the surface of what your future life will be like. Best wishes for 2020. > Click to expand... Thanks for your feedback and happy New Year. It's very freeing to write this journal to give myself perspective on this aspect of my life. It is satifying to think that others might enjoy reading it and perhaps find it informative and/or useful.

Funny but the threat of being locked for a week in Gigi never occured to me. My mind went to the worst case senerio and it wasn't living without a cock for a week, even a caged one, it was the end of sharing my chastity with my wife, who is also my key holder. I believe I would have done whatever was necessary to keep that from happening. It seems like I am starting to think like a sub, to truly adjust my perception of myself as being submissive to her and most importantly, reacting accordingly. How appropriate that such a thought is humbling.

About 10am Sat Sir walked up to me and asked heads or tails? Cautiously I replied "heads" not knowing what was going on. She flipped a coin and showed me the result. Tails. Sir said "too bad. You're gonna be with Gigi for the weekend." I was ready to protest but caught myself in time. Sir noticed this and smiled. "Now", she said with that new sternness. She handed me the key to swap cages. When I had done this I was told to wear the red panties. That's how I learned that Gigi could happen any time as well as for punishment. I'm writing this because it's difficult to sleep when your dick has been taken away from you. The word "eunuch" has disturbingly come to mind. I wonder if I will ever be able to embrace having to force my cock into my body and pee from a pathetic nubbin. One more day to go. I hope.

1-1-2020. Wed. Last night my love and I were watching the New Years Eve shows on tv. I noticed her put on her key necklace, what she calls her "Domina" key. I'm not sure she's using the word correctly but have learned not to challenge her on it. The ball in Times Square was ready to drop. Sir told me we should start things right. She told me to undress. This I did, hoping for the best. She told me the cage stayed on. I asked if she was going to undress. "Why would I do that" she said. I must have made a face because she shook her head and smiled. I was becoming familiar with that smile, mocking and amused. She then said "Welcome to Naked New Year. Now give me my New Year's kiss." She pointed to her feet. Surprised at this sudden demand I have to admit that I got on my knees and kissed the toes of the ankle boots she was wearing. This was the closest physical contact she had allowed me since what she called "your submission". I felt selfconscious and humiliated. This was really happening! Is this what I wanted? I think this was a taste of what true submission was going to be. Sir told me to stay naked for the rest of the day. I suppose I'll be told to get dressed sometime after midnight tonight. It seems strange to be naked while she's dressed. I hope that's all the surprises for today. Have to go. Sir calls.

After Naked New Year I half expected a shopping list of changes to our life all at once, but what we had was a normal day. The metaphorical leash started to tighten after dinner. First Sir had me undress at bedtime and give her a massage. Sir then sat on the edge of the bed and had me stand in front of her with my hands behind my back, legs spread, just as she had when I first put on Holly. She told me that when she wanted me to stand like this she would say "Inspection" and I had better not hesitate. She took hold of my cage giving it a good looking over, including the underside. Then she lifted my balls and gave them a light squeeze as though testing fruit at the supermarket. She made a satisfied noise and gave my cage a few tugs then began caressing my balls. My cock futiley tried to grow hard. She exhaled on her cage, causing me to shiver. It didn't take long to feel the pain begin. I saw Sir's smile telling me she was enjoying my discomfort and her control and ownership of me. She then gave me a light push backwards. Sir then told me that she wanted me to understand that she wanted her property healthy but she would never again touch my cock unless it was locked, and then I wouldn't feel it. That part of my life was over. It was what she wanted and what I had asked for when I had surrendered control of my life to her. Then it was lights out. I lay next to her, cock throbbing. I love her.

1-4-20 Earlier today Sir told me that as my submission was a permanent 24/7, there was no need for the necklace to signal when I was to be submissive. Simillarly, she would now wear my cage key on a necklace 24/7. "We are neither temporary, nor part time", she said. I will always remember those words. She then told me to kneel. Once I had done so she showed me the chain with the O ring I had put together and fastened it around my neck with a mini padlock. She said it hung low enough not to be visible under a shirt unless she locked it a couple of links tighter. I would wear this during the day. When we were in for the night she would swap it out for the leather collar with the locking buckle I had put together. This I would wear through the night. Sir liked the idea that I had put them together, taking part in my submission. This way I would never forget my place. She then hugged me, gave me a quick kiss and asked me if I wanted to watch a movie. I said anything she wanted. She smiled and said "good answer".

1-5-20 Today, while I was washing her cage in the bathroom sink, Sir told me that from now on I would be naked from bedtime through to the following morning, wearing just the cage and leather collar. I wonder how much more fine tuning of my submission Sir will do.

1-11-20 Yesterday after dinner Sir told me to follow her into the bedroom. She had me strip, take off the cage and lay on the bed. She put her phone next to me and told me that since it had been a while, she would give me a chance to have an orgasm. She had set the timer in her phone to go off at random sometime within 15 minutes. I would have until the alarm sounded to have my orgasm, just as I had told her I had done shortly before Sir accepted my submission. Sir then handed me a bottle of lube and told me to get ready. I was surprised to find it took a little effort to get hard. Timer starts now", Sir said. " It could be a very long time before you get the chance again." Sir tapped the phone, starting the timer. Doing my best to ignore it, I began to do as told. The buzzer sounded. Hand off cock. Between laughs, Sir said, "Six seconds! You should see the look on your face. I wish I had recorded that. Lock up, sweetie and don't forget to wash the dishes." It took a little doing to get the cage back on, but some judiciously applied ice did the trick. Sir watched my efforts with a smile then held out her hand for the key. "Come on", she said, "that was funny."

1-21-20 I had a medical appointment last Monday, so I asked Sir if I could be let out of her cage for the duration. She said that as it was a routine visit, the answer was no. While we sat in the waiting room Sir must have noticed my increasing nervousness. She leaned in to me and whispered, "It would be awfully embarressing if you had to explain why you are wearing a pink chastity cage." Just what I needed to hear. Fortunately things proceeded smoothly and the cage was not mentioned or discovered. I had begun to relax when Sir asked the doctor if there were any health risks in wearing a chastity device for extended periods. The doctor said he wasn't sure what she meant. Sir told me to show him. Reluctant and embarressed I dropped my jeans facing the doctor. He told me to come closer and inspected my crotch. Then he told me to remove the cage. Sir handed me the key and said, "You may," making it clear who was in charge, so I did. The doctor closely examined my penis and testicles. Not my proudest moment. You would have thought I had dipped my dick in ice water. The doctor told us to maintain hygene and regularly examine my penis and testicles for anything out of the ordinary, etc. After I was back in the cage I handed the key back to Sir. Sir hung the key back around her neck and thanked the doctor. Sir then said to me that it was important to get a professional's opinion about my well-being. I was never so glad to leave a doctor's office. Seeming to read my mind Sir asked me if I would have shown her cage to the doctor if not told to do so. When I said no, she told me I should be glad she was looking out for my health. Now it was my turn for mind reading. I said, "thank you, Sir." I then asked Sir if it was her intent to humiliate me by forcing me to show myself wearing her cage. Sir told me that she wanted to settle the question of whether my being locked in the cage for an extended period posed a health hazard. She paused for a moment and added that my humiliation was a bonus. I think she was joking. As we drove to a favorite diner for lunch, Sir told me that she was proud of how I behaved in the doctor's office, being submissive and obedient. She said this while absently toying with the key around her neck. The following day Sir called me over after I had washed the breakfast dishes. She was sitting in her favorite comfortable chair. She handed me the key and told me to remove her cage. After I had done this and placed it at her feet, I knelt in front of her, as directed. Sir said that she had been thinking about how I felt humiliated having to show the doctor that I was wearing a cage. Sir said that I needed to understand that I could be embarrassed wearing the cage while still proud of my chastity and submission. Humiliation was something more. She handed me Gigi, the micro penis cap and told me to put it on. I groaned to myself. I wished that I had not mentioned humiliation the other day. I stood and fastened Gigi to the base ring, compressing my cock to nothing, then returned the key to Sir who hung it back around her neck. Sir looked at Gigi, where my cock used to be, and told me that I would wear her until I learned the difference between embarrassment and humilliation And of course this meant that I have to wear panties until I am released from Gigi. I've been wearing Gigi for 8 days now with one unlocking for cleaning. The cage bars leave indentations in the head of my penis but that should be temporary. It looks like I'm going to have to buy more panties. I miss having my penis, even if just to look at.

134 days orgasm free. Funny how that's no longer uppermost in my thoughts on chastity. A little while ago Sir handed me a package of new panties. Quite a few new panties. I think it's her way of telling me Gigi will be an ongoing part of my life for the near future.

I had some free time this morning so, while I still had my leather collar on from overnight, I took a picture of myself in the Inspection Position for Sir, with a little digital magic added. It's how she wants me to stand when looking over her property. It also reenforces my being subservient to her.

LockedN8. thanks for the like.

Sir just told me that while having her cock completely disappear under Gigi is amusing, she would rather see me wearing steel. It looks more like denial and submission rather than feminization. So I'm now wearing Holly again. Sir asked me to describe the difference between devices. The Cherrykeeper, Gigi, is open so cleaning is a snap, while Holly is not abrasive as Gigi can be. Gigi is so small that it becomes covered over by the loose scrotal skin. This causes me to urinate on my balls, which means more cleaning. Also, because it's a cap, Holly doesn't fully drain after urination, which requires an extra shower or two. My ideal punishment cage ( I can't believe I just said that) would be a steel cage with bars rather than capping off my cock. That would be lightweight and easy to clean, and I would be able to urinate standing up or sitting down. Maybe it will happen. Sir always pays attention to what I say. Which brings me to Sir appologizing to me for not warning me she planned to have me expose myself to the doctor. I was stunned. I told her I trusted her judgement, and it concerned my health. If she felt uncomfortable about some choice we could discuss it but the final decision would always be hers. She is in charge, and I will honor and obey her. I am amazed our relationship has changed so much and is still changing.

What a great blog. It is full of those little details that make reading it so enjoyable. I am truly envious of the amazing relationship you have with Sir.

Thank you. I'm pleased to hear you enjoyed the writing. Blogging can feel like a monologue, which is somewhat true. If readers find value in it or simply enjoy reading along, that's an extra reward. Sir and I are moving forward with our Dynamic/Service relationship (D/s) and Female-Led Relationship (FLR) at her speed, essentially. Also, she has read most of the entries and approves of my continued openness without holding anything back. So this isn't me complaining behind her back. Earlier I saw a post about someone being unlocked for PIV intercourse. I barely recall what that feels like now. Just thinking about it makes my cock want to break free from its cage. Luckily, my penis is currently contained within the device; otherwise, I’d likely be jerking off like an unsettled primate. Have a wonderful night.

Today Sir has been delighted that I am back in the Holly. Throughout the day she would pat my crotch at random intervals, saying things like "Hiya big boy" and "Guess you're not happy to see me." Tonight after dinner, Sir had me strip naked so she could inspect the Holly. She made me stand for inspection before her, looked down at my groin, and asked "Where's Waldo?", nearly giggling. After releasing me from the inspection, she placed a pillow on the floor—a signal for me to kneel—because we have to accommodate our declining flexibility compared to earlier years. We performed the nightly ritual of swapping the chain collar for the leather one, after which I washed up the evening's dishes. As I dried my hands, Sir approached and cupped my balls in a voice meant for pets: "Where's the puppy? Where is my naughty puppy?" This referred to that manipulated photo I posted recently; it made her laugh when she saw it. She gave my balls a gentle squeeze, enough pressure to make my cock press against Holly as if trying harden. Still holding me, she led me to her recliner and sat down, snapping her fingers and pointing at the floor—a new development. I knelt beside her. "Hands and knees," she instructed. I obeyed. Sir explained this was now my designated "puppy" stance. She demonstrated a hand signal for taking that position. Next, she directed me to lie stretched out face-down with my cheek resting on folded hands—the "down puppy" pose—and showed the corresponding hand gesture. She told me that whenever she desires her puppy service, she will signal me to come immediately and assume the position. A second snap of her fingers releases me. I waited silently. She paused for a moment then snapped again. I sat up cross-legged. Sir asked why I hadn't spoken; I replied that puppies don't talk. "You catch on quickly," Sir said. "I suppose you know that photo was just a joke?" she added. "I knew it, but it gave me ideas," she responded. When I asked what kinds of ideas, she promised I would see for myself while fingering the key on her neck chain. "My little puppy," she murmured. "Good puppy."

I was folding laundry today when Sir entered with that satisfied look on her face regarding something she has arranged. She told me to pick up my phone and dial her number. As I did so, she explained she wanted me to hear the ringtone she had just assigned to me. The sound was a familiar computerized voice from Star Trek saying, "Incoming subspace signal." We both burst out laughing. She walked over to me and we hugged. Stepping back, she instructed me to remove my clothes, which I did with growing anticipation. "What now?" I asked. Sir replied, "Finish putting away the laundry, of course." "Yes Sir," I said, feeling a bit disappointed. "Good puppy," she said, giving Holly a quick pat before leaving the room. It seems I am to be known as 'puppy' from here on out.

Yesterday morning Sir announced that I would wear her leather collar throughout the day. If anyone inquired, I was to explain my situation. We went into Manhattan and spent our time at the Museum of Natural History, one of our favorite spots. While viewing an exhibit, Sir asked me quietly if I ever wondered how many people manage to sneak off somewhere for sex. Naturally, this caught my attention. Before I could formulate a response, she suggested we have lunch—a sudden shift that felt like whiplash. Afterward, Sir retrieved a leather leash from her jacket pocket and clipped it to the collar around her neck (or rather, attached it so I was led). She asked me sternly, "What do you say?" I replied, "Thank you, Sir, for putting me on your leash." Sir walked ahead while people glanced at us but said nothing. One guard approached and asked if everything was alright. Sir gave the leash a sharp tug, snapped her fingers, and pointed to the floor. I knelt down, terrified of what might happen next, trembling inside. Sir offered the guard her most charming smile and spoke in a sweet, innocent tone: "I'm just walking my puppy." The guard sighed as if burdened by the weight of the world and said, "Just behave yourselves," before walking away shaking his head. I was utterly mortified. A second snap released me from kneeling. We continued through the exhibits until we stopped near a staff door. Sir leaned against me and asked, "What do you say to going in there so I can give you a blow job?" When I expressed enthusiasm, she took out a coin and flipped it. "Call it," she said, catching the coin. With dry mouth I guessed "heads," hoping for luck. Sir pocketed the coin without looking at it. "Tails," she announced. My disappointment was obvious because she remarked, "Oh my god, you actually thought I meant it!" It felt like all the air left my body. "Come on, time to go home, little guy," she said, patting Holly through my trousers. That night, when bedtime arrived, I was surprised to see Sir strip naked—a privilege she hadn't granted me in years. I was wearing only her cage and collar as usual. Sir snapped her fingers and pointed to the floor by her dresser. Using her stern domme voice she commanded, "Kneel. Hands behind your back." Naturally I obeyed. I watched mesmerized as she slowly applied moisturizer over her body. Her skin is wonderfully smooth. She paid extra attention to her breasts and around her pussy area. My cock began pushing against Holly, desperate to get hard and break free. I tried not to whimper. I can't remember ever being so aroused yet so helpless; the need to touch her was agonizing. When she finished dressing again, Sir snapped her fingers and said "Release," allowing me to stand up. She threw a pillow onto the floor at the foot of the bed and told me that would be my sleeping spot for the night. "Sweet dreams," she said, turning off the light. Damn.

Sir had just switched me to her day collar as usual while I was kneeling before her. Instead of releasing me to stand like normal, she tilted my chin up so I could look directly into her eyes. She asked if I had learned anything from our museum visit and the previous night. I told her that having a doctor examine my caged cock was embarrassing, whereas yesterday consisted of one humiliation after another. "Good puppy," she said. Sir handed me the key and instructed me to remove Holly. I applied some lotion and began squeezing myself into the regular cage past the headlock. Suddenly, despite being compressed, it felt like having a recognizable penis inside a cage again. My happiness is definitely becoming relative.

Things have settled down since the Great Museum Trip, as Sir calls it. There are no fresh surprises, which feels like the calm before a storm. Sir entered with her hands clasped behind her back while I was writing above. She told me to "Pick one." I tapped her right side silently with an "uh oh". "Correct," she said. She held out her open right hand, revealing a pink cage. It was the short CherryKeeper equipped with an extra-large headlock. Then I actually spoke up: "Uh oh," as I picked it up. My cockhead looked like it might not fit inside this shallow cage, and the headlock ring appeared to have impossibly narrow openings. It is too large for my scrotal skin to swallow entirely, making... yes, a new punishment cage. "Why don't you break it in over the weekend?" Sir said with a wicked smile. "Yes, Ma'am," I replied. She then brought out her left hand and offered me the key to her cage. So now I am wearing this new device, hoping for no bad skin reactions from constant pressure against the bars. We shall see.

I'm back in Sir's engraved steel cage. We agreed that the new punishment cage was too tight for me. The search continues. Sir gave me a stainless steel choker omega necklace (3mm) to use as a day collar; it fits perfectly and can be worn anywhere without drawing attention. I love it. Sir brought up getting a tattoo to celebrate our new relationship. I am conflicted about this. On one hand, it is undeniably erotic and exciting. On the other, it feels like tempting fate—like tattooing your wife's name on you only for her to break up with you shortly after. Sir suggested that whatever we choose should be placed where I shave my pubic hair. She proposed the word "OWNED," which would make the point even if there were a reason I wasn't wearing her cage at some future date. More playfully, she suggested two eyes, making my cock look like a nose in between them. She had me do digital magic to visualize how they would appear. It is an idea that will be discussed again.

Just recently Sir had me strip and removed her cage. She then handed me a small CherryKeeper with a large headlock, creating what seems to be the perfect fit for a punishment cage—compressing my cock without causing pain. I look forward to tomorrow's inspection. It still feels strange that I have no issue wearing a "punishment" device if instructed to do so. My primary desire is simply to please my love by being submissive to her.

I read some of page 1 and then skipped ahead to page 3 to see what was new... wow! I had to skip back to page 2 to find the part where everything turned around. It is so amazing and delightful that your wife has embraced all this fully. Sounds like it's making you both much happier!

We have been exploring this new facet of our relationship, finding limits and boundaries as we go, often revising them based on practicality or desire. For instance, Sir enjoys cooking and refuses to let her dominant status deprive her of that pleasure. I am a strong-willed person but choose to be submissive to her because it makes her life easier and more enjoyable. Common sense is key here. Sir would never order me to do anything illegal, nor would I accept such an order if it were unreasonable. Dominant does not mean abusive, and submissive does not mean being foolish. Most importantly, both partners are responsible for the other. Love is always present. I didn't expect to give such a detailed examination of our relationship when my intention was simply "Yes, we are happier." Apparently, I am also somewhat submissive to this blog.

Entering the ninth day wearing the new punishment cage, though unsure how much longer it will stay. Sir has named it Pinkie. Now she has started calling me Pinky too! She was very particular about the spelling difference, which I recognized as a reference to a Hepburn/Tracy movie. We began celebrating Valentine's Day in our usual manner. I brought my love breakfast in bed and ran her bath while I ate inside it. Then things changed. After my shower Sir told me not to bother getting dressed. She gave me a chain bracelet with an unusual feature: instead of the typical clasp, it was fastened with a steel ring using pliers—a further reminder that she owned me. Then Sir handed me her cage key. I was informed that for Valentine's Day, she would let me decide whether to take my cage off for the day and night so I could lie in bed next to her (allowed to touch), or keep it on and sleep on the floor at the foot of the bed to prove my love by denying myself that passing pleasure. Reluctantly, I handed the key back. Sir smiled and kissed me, saying she knew I would make the right choice. We spent the day watching movies, reading, and generally being lazy. At one point Sir had me lie on the floor in front of her while she began touching my balls with her toes. The small punishment cage filled up almost instantly. Sir smiled as I started squirming in frustration. She rested her foot gently against it for pressure. Next, she put her toes to my lips and I slowly began sucking them, finishing by licking both feet. Sir returned to playing with my balls. She asked if I would like to orgasm while wearing the cage. "Yes," I said, desperate for release. Sir told me not to be silly; I knew I wasn't allowed an orgasm. She tossed a pillow on the floor in front of her, snapped her fingers, and pointed at it. I knelt before her with hands behind my back and head down. "Let's see if changing posture improves your memory," she said. Sir released me two hours later with another snap of her fingers. Both knees cracked when I stood up. I will have to try harder not to let my Submission weaken.

We had just finished breakfast the other morning when Sir told me to strip. Once done, she happily informed me that I could take off the pink punishment cage. Sir handed me the key and, as usual, I removed it in front of her. She gave me a damp towel to wipe my crotch. After refreshing myself, Sir presented a small, open-bar steel cage along with a tube of lube. "Let's see how this works," she said. "It isn't pink, but it is steel." I put on the new device and found the head of my penis bulging out between the front bars. On order I took the Inspection position. "That's a different look for you," she remarked looking at my crotch with laughter. "Just the head shows, and it looks like little guy is trying to squeeze out there like toothpaste from a tube. Those lips must be sensitive, all puckered up as if expecting a kiss. My guess is that rubbing against your underwear will hurt eventually. Would you endure that for me?" "Yes, Mistress," I said, using the term Sir indicated was an acceptable alternative form of address. I could almost feel myself reaching a new level of submission—whether height or depth I wasn't sure—as I agreed to accept this new discomfort and probable pain just to prove my devotion to the woman now ruling my life. This new wrinkle didn't surprise me much; it reflects as much about my changing attitudes as Sir's. I was told in no uncertain terms that I would wear this cage at least through the weekend. I surrendered the key to her. "Remember," Sir reminded me, "just because you're poking out of my cage doesn't mean you are allowed to touch yourself. That little dicklet belongs to me." Sir had me drop my pants several times before it was finally time for me to get naked again because in this new setup my "little guy looks funny." Surprisingly, being in the cage doesn't hurt much yet. On the other hand, I haven't gotten aroused inside it so far—that kind of worries me.

Thursday morning, after washing breakfast dishes, Sir had me kneel beside her with my head in her lap. While she stroked my hair and spoke, she explained that upon reflection she decided I would wear the new small cage until March first; we could then decide if she renews the option. Not exactly a reassuring opening to our talk. Then Sir handed me the key to her collar and ordered me to take several photos while she watched, correcting any errors I might make. The first photo better displayed my penis trying to squeeze through the cage bars. She said others might find it amusing too, which is preferable to ordering me to show off to her sister. If that was a challenge, I wasn't taking it up at this moment. So before starting the picture-taking session, Sir handed me the hood she wanted me to wear. She expressed liking how it looks on me.

This morning I woke up and discovered what happens when arousal occurs while wearing the new punishment cage. It was very uncomfortable. Sir's first reaction was that it should come off immediately to prevent any damage to my penis; her amusement had ceased. Instead of moving me into a larger cage, Sir decided I should wear the PA rings for the foreseeable future. It has been so long since I last wore them that the hole had tightened up. It took about an hour of slow work to get the ring through the opening on the underside of the shaft. Right now it is very sore—perhaps more than while wearing the cage this morning. I know I will be moving slowly and carefully for a while. Boxers only from here out. Sir remarked that in my current condition, the last thing she expects me to try is masturbation. So much for sympathy. I'll just accept this as part of my submission. And maybe take a couple aspirins.

Yesterday marked 165 days without an orgasm. Some stretches are easier than others. Sir noticed I was still walking with a limp and suggested that stretching the piercing on top of the cage discomfort might have been too much. She told me to take the ring out. Despite my resolve to tough it through, I gratefully said, "Thank you, Mistress." I didn't waste any time carefully removing it. Sir snapped her fingers next, giving the hand signal for the Puppy Position. I dropped to my hands and knees beside her. "Good puppy," she noted. "Now lick Mistress's boots." I did so immediately, relieved to have the piercing out. As I licked Sir’s boots, I could feel my cock throbbing with soreness. While making sure to do a thorough job on her footwear, part of me wondered what came next. It had been an unusually long time since I was unlocked. Once again, Sir seemed to read my thoughts. She said it was obvious the new cage wasn't suitable for anything but the harshest punishments. She found fault with previous punishment cages and needed a better alternative—perhaps something other than a traditional cage. There were possibilities once the PA hole stretched out enough. Yes, that option remained open. Then she mentioned something showing she had really considered this: once the hole was stretched back out, it would likely leak whenever I urinated, especially with the ring removed. I told her I already leaked pee from the hole now, most of my precum came out there too, and a good amount of cum when I orgasmed. Sir said that orgasm wasn't an issue for me right now; any other leakage, whether or not the PA hole was stretched, was something I would just have to handle. I continued lapping at her boots. Sir then instructed me to let her know once her cock stopped hurting. It took a few hours, but finally after dinner, I told Sir that only a dull soreness remained. She ordered me to fetch the engraved steel cage—what she called the "steel pussy" because it fit snugly on her cock—and come right back. Sir had lined up her collection of cages neatly on her dresser like sports trophies. When I returned, she handed me the key and a tube of lube. She watched silently as I worked, putting the key back around her neck when I finished. She led me into the bedroom. "It would be so easy to feel sorry for you and grant you liberties," Sir said. "So you're sleeping on the floor tonight." She tossed a pillow at the foot of the bed, then stood in front of me and kissed my lips gently. "Maybe one liberty," she added with a swat to my ass. "Now get on the floor."

Last night I was in bed next to Sir, lying on my side and naked as usual, when I suddenly felt her hands on my shoulders giving me a massage. Her hands moved slowly down my back while I stiffened inside the cage. One hand shifted to my chest, her fingers playing with my nipples before caressing my stomach. My heart beat faster in hopeful anticipation. Sir put her head next to mine and whispered, "I don't need a punishment cage to train you. You're not getting out of that cage, you're not going to get hard, and you certainly aren't going to cum. I own your little dicklet. It's good for nothing but peeing and my amusement. Don't say another word the rest of the night." Sir then rolled over and went back to sleep. I lay there waiting for my breathing to return to normal. If I weren't locked up, I would have talked her into having sex—at least that’s what I told myself. This morning I learned Sir had devised a new punishment/tease/torture routine. She made me stand in front of her and play with my balls using a vibrator she handed over. Then she had me put on panties, placing the vibrator between my legs so it rested on top of my balls and under the cage at medium speed. The tightness of the panties kept the vibrator in place. The sensation was enough to arouse me but not quite reach the point of cumming. After an hour, I wanted to beg her either to remove the vibrator or let me cum. I knew she would agree to neither and wouldn't like it if I begged for relief from something she devised. Seeing my hands kept drifting toward my crotch, she tied them behind my back with a shoelace—the first thing she could find that worked. Later, she told me I was useless with my hands bound, so the lesson ended. She untied me and had me remove the vibrator. I sank to the floor hugging my knees because I feared I would start playing with my balls trying for an orgasm. I have never wanted to masturbate more in my life. Sir saw this clearly and said that someday I would reach a point where I wouldn't want to masturbate, would hate the thought of being disloyal to her, and she would help me get there. It is amazing how something so simple can have such an effect.

Seeing that the tip of my cock still looked red and irritated, Sir had me switch back to the Jailbird since it isn't as tight as the Steel Pussy. She told me to try wearing the cage without the support belt to see if the base ring still caused pain in my balls, noting that my panties should keep pressure off them. I have doubts but want to please her, so I said nothing and kept my fingers crossed. Then Sir mentioned that since she had me wearing panties anyway, she wanted me to pee sitting down from now on. At least I wouldn't be dealing with a micro cage anymore. Last night Sir lay naked on the bed and had me crawl between her legs with my mouth close to her pussy. She ordered me to blow lightly, which I did while she held my head between her hands. I had almost forgotten the lovely perfume of her scent. My cock began pressing against the cage bars as I worked. After a few minutes, she had me stand at the foot of the bed. "Was it good for you too?" she asked with a smile. She then put on a black teddy that she knew I liked. Sir said I could sleep next to her but forbade me from touching her or speaking. So far today has passed without any teasing. I find myself both anxious and eager for the routine to resume.

This morning Sir had me strip and tie me to a chair. "Just a feather," she said. She then lightly touched me with it, getting the response she wanted. Soon I was squirming in the chair, frustrated knowing there would be no relief. Sir thoroughly enjoyed herself, pushing me close to climax and leaving me to calm down before repeating the process, never doing exactly the same thing twice. As they say, time stood still. When she finished, Sir had me thank her for the attention. Surprisingly, I meant it. Later, Sir decided she liked how my face looked hidden by the mask and suggested we try other looks for me. Once she was done, she told me we would continue experimenting with my new appearance. Right now, I am wearing a wig.

Sir's interest in masks continues for me. This latest setup involved the white blank mask, a green wig, and a brown wig attached to a female mask—all while I wore her locking 3/4" steel submission collar. She told me she liked how the female mask changed my energy, especially when she had me tuck my package as ordered. Photos of this experiment are included.

Sir has told me that since we observe Social Distancing and my chastity is permanent, I will have additional rules in force as long as staying at home for Social Distancing remains necessary. 1. I am forbidden to wear clothes at home unless instructed otherwise. 2. I must sleep on the floor at the foot of the bed. 3. While watching the evening news, I must lie across Sir's lap. She will spank me each time "Social Distancing" is said and twice whenever "Corona Virus" comes up. They will be hard spanks. I must thank her when the program ends. Sir has never been interested in any kind of physical punishment before; I think this is just her way of relieving stress.

Earlier today Sir decided to amuse herself by telling me she wanted some photos of me in the girl mask she has named Susan—as in, "I want some photos of Susan." When I returned from the bedroom with the mask on, Sir said, "Welcome back, Susan." I have been told to demonstrate what Sir calls sexy poses and one showing me filling the cage. She has developed a fascination with the Susan look, getting me to agree to an almost vegetarian diet for a sexier appearance. We shall see how this goes; if nothing else, I'll be healthier.

> Dylan57 said: > Sir has told me that since we observe Social Distancing and my chastity is permanent, I will have some additional rules that will be in force as long as staying at home for Social Distancing is necessary. > 1. I am forbidden to wear clothes at home unless instructed otherwise. > 2. I am to sleep on the floor at the foot of the bed. > 3. While watching the evening news I must lay across Sir's lap. She will spank me each time "Social Distancing" is said and twice whenever "Corona Virus" is said. They will be hard spanks. I must thank her when the news program is over. Sir has never been interested in any kind of physical punishment before. I think it is her way of relieving stress. > Click to expand... Thanks for the like, tiruh811.

I just looked at my calendar and was surprised to see that I've been locked in one cage or another for 212 days straight, with just enough time unlocked for cleaning. Time flies. Still getting used to near-permanent nudity around the house. Sir likes to tease me that she might have me answer if the doorbell rings. I'm pretty sure she's joking or trying to make me nervous. As written elsewhere, we're doing Social Distancing, which means we are almost constantly together. So far we aren't getting on each other’s nerves, which is good when one person has spanking rights. I've found that since we started doing cfnm around the house, I am frequently straining in my cage. Sir tells me it's something to live with; after 200+ days without an orgasm she isn't about to let me start all over again. The next time she might allow me to cum is after I reach a year going without. She said that considering how desperate I've been, if she decided to edge me right now, I probably wouldn’t last three seconds. I'm embarrassed to say she might be right. Sir has found a new way to amuse herself: walking up close and telling me things like seeing me try to get hard in her cage makes her wet, or asking if I remember what pussy tastes like or feels like inside. This morning she did this and pinched my nipples hard until I asked her to stop. "Funny," she said, "you're still as hard as you can get, and you're dripping on the floor." She mentioned that maybe a week in a micro cage would calm me down, unless I couldn't control myself putting it on—I figured that was very possible. Just a little while ago she had me stand in the bathroom watching her shower. I think she is trying to drive me insane.

I now consider myself a victim of current events. We watched the news tonight which meant I got spanked every time Social Distancing or Corona Virus were spoken. That’s a lot of spanks. Sir told me she might start using a paddle to save her hand; this just keeps getting better. She informed me that short of an MRI, the steel submissive collar I now wear for her is never coming off. She likes how it matches my bracelet—both are fastened with flush hex screws. Sir then said that since I was chronicling my life in submission, I should include a photo of my current "bed" as well as one of me in the cage at its smallest size. I suppose I should have seen that coming. Funny how difficult it is to let go of ego.

This morning I made the mistake of mentioning to Sir that I was bored not being able to go out for movies or restaurants. She then had me lie across her lap so I could anticipate the spanks. I gave what Sir described as a girlish squeal when I felt her spit-covered finger press against my anus. It was new and not entirely welcome. She placed her other hand on my back, bent to my ear, and said she bet I wasn't bored anymore. Then she told me to remember that she owned my ass and it might be fair for her to do the penetrating from now on. I have always considered my ass a no-fly zone. Then she gave me ten spanks and ordered me to kneel with hands behind my back, tossing a pillow onto the floor for me. She reminded me that the news would be on soon and asked how many spanks I thought the reporters were going to give me. We never did set which hour of news we'd watch; it turns out to be once, twice, or even three times a day depending on her mood. I now hate watching the news, and the phrase "watch your ass" has taken on a new meaning for me. I'm sure she was just messing with my head.

This morning Sir told me she wanted pictures of Susan so I could relax. Half asleep and confused, I said, "But I'm Susan." Sir smiled and said that she wanted to see if I knew it was true, noting that when I put on the mask I reveal a hidden part of myself. That was a little too deep for me first thing in the morning. Anyway, here are the photos Sir wants shown.

Last night I asked Sir why she liked the Susan mask so much. She said it was a turn-on to see me show a softer side. I pointed out that she hasn't permitted any kind of sex for years, so what was going on? Susan seemed all about sexuality. The conversation went in circles until finally revealing that during our first ten married years, Sir wanted to be the dutiful wife and submit to my sexual needs—that’s how she put it—but was just going through the motions. When pain issues started, she used them as an excuse to end having sex with me without hurting my feelings. As if that revelation wasn't enough, she dropped a bomb: she had never really been into dick. She loved me but had no desire for a penis inside her. In fact, she found the softness of women attractive but was quick to reassure me that she loved everything else about me and wouldn't trade our life for anything. I asked the big question and she assured me she had always been faithful. She started crying saying sorry, loving me, and never wanting to hurt me. We wound up cuddling in bed with Sir joking that the cage wasn’t coming off as we fell asleep holding each other. This morning Sir asked what I thought, how I felt about us. She said she didn't want to lose me. I was very nervous when I told her I loved her too; I understood her better now than ever and saw no reason we shouldn't proceed as before, but it was her decision—she was in charge. I felt the need to do something to show her I was serious, so I knelt in front of her and kissed her feet. She smiled down at me and said it was almost time for the news. I love her.

> Dylan57 said: > 5/24/19 > Today marked day 7 of my self locking target of one month. Is it a little too soon to be proud of myself? (Seven days being my longest locking so far in my fairly recent chastity experience). Apart from having the occasional urge to masturbate only to touch steel, so far my biggest frustration has been trying to have a conversation with my half deaf mother in law. I have a feeling that I've only seen the tip of the frustration iceberg. It's amazing how easy it is to take a good wank for granted. I think I will either adapt fairly quickly or become a frustrated Onan the Barbarian. More random thoughts to follow. > Click to expand... This seems like a lifetime ago.

After we renewed our commitment to each other, we watched the news and Sir gave me my "virus spankings" as she calls them. Oddly enough, sticking to what became our routine gave us a sense of normalcy we needed. Funny what one learns to consider normal; this way we weren't tip-toeing around each other. At bedtime Sir dropped a pillow on the floor at the foot of the bed—more normal still. The following afternoon Sir sat in her recliner reading a book. She had me sit on the floor next to her, waiting for orders: making tea if asked, fixing snacks, rubbing feet, etc. After dinner, Sir made me do the dishes and mop the kitchen floor, then clean the windows. For the windows she had me wear one of those aprons that loop around the neck in case anyone looked in from outside; I still felt very exposed. While washing the windows, Sir told me if I didn't do a good job I would have to redo it without the apron. I believed her. The following day Sir said she wanted pictures of Susan washing dishes. Domestic sub—that’s what I’ve become. Attached are those pictures; Sir got a laugh out of the last photo. After dinner, Sir announced story time. I had to tell her how I lost my virginity and better be entertaining. She hadn't shown interest in my sexual history before so I was surprised by this demand. I must have passed because I didn’t receive any spanks—though maybe that meant I failed and bored her? What I did get was a bucket, a sponge, and orders to clean the bathrooms on my hands and knees "the way women used to do it." I'm not sure if this was punishment or general home maintenance.

> Dylan57 said: > 5/24/19 > Day seven of my self-locking experiment has passed, aiming for a full month. Am I being too quick to pat myself on the back? (Seven days is currently my longest continuous lock in my relatively recent journey with chastity). Aside from occasionally wanting to masturbate but only making contact with cold steel, my main annoyance so far has been chatting with my mother-in-law who doesn't hear very well. It feels like I'm just seeing the tip of a much larger iceberg of frustration. It’s remarkable how easily we overlook the simple pleasure of a good release. I suspect I’ll either adjust quite rapidly or become a frustrated Onan the Barbarian. Expect more random musings later. > Click to expand... This feels like ages ago.

> Dylan57 said: > 5/24/19 > Day seven of my self-locking experiment has passed, aiming for a full month. Am I being too quick to pat myself on the back? (Seven days is currently my longest continuous lock in my relatively recent journey with chastity). Aside from occasionally wanting to masturbate but only making contact with cold steel, my main annoyance so far has been chatting with my mother-in-law who doesn't hear very well. It feels like I'm just seeing the tip of a much larger iceberg of frustration. It’s remarkable how easily we overlook the simple pleasure of a good release. I suspect I’ll either adjust quite rapidly or become a frustrated Onan the Barbarian. Expect more random musings later. > Click to expand... This feels like ages ago.

> Dylan57 said: > 5/24/19 > Day seven of my self-locking experiment has passed, aiming for a full month. Am I being too quick to pat myself on the back? (Seven days is currently my longest continuous lock in my relatively recent journey with chastity). Aside from occasionally wanting to masturbate but only making contact with cold steel, my main annoyance so far has been chatting with my mother-in-law who doesn't hear very well. It feels like I'm just seeing the tip of a much larger iceberg of frustration. It’s remarkable how easily we overlook the simple pleasure of a good release. I suspect I’ll either adjust quite rapidly or become a frustrated Onan the Barbarian. Expect more random musings later. > Click to expand... This feels like ages ago.

> Dylan57 said: > 5/24/19 > Day seven of my self-locking experiment has passed, aiming for a full month. Am I being too quick to pat myself on the back? (Seven days is currently my longest continuous lock in my relatively recent journey with chastity). Aside from occasionally wanting to masturbate but only making contact with cold steel, my main annoyance so far has been chatting with my mother-in-law who doesn't hear very well. It feels like I'm just seeing the tip of a much larger iceberg of frustration. It’s remarkable how easily we overlook the simple pleasure of a good release. I suspect I’ll either adjust quite rapidly or become a frustrated Onan the Barbarian. Expect more random musings later. > Click to expand... This feels like ages ago.

> Dylan57 said: > 5/24/19 > Day seven of my self-locking experiment has passed, aiming for a full month. Am I being too quick to pat myself on the back? (Seven days is currently my longest continuous lock in my relatively recent journey with chastity). Aside from occasionally wanting to masturbate but only making contact with cold steel, my main annoyance so far has been chatting with my mother-in-law who doesn't hear very well. It feels like I'm just seeing the tip of a much larger iceberg of frustration. It’s remarkable how easily we overlook the simple pleasure of a good release. I suspect I’ll either adjust quite rapidly or become a frustrated Onan the Barbarian. Expect more random musings later. > Click to expand... This feels like ages ago.

> Dylan57 said: > 5/24/19 > Day seven of my self-locking experiment has passed, aiming for a full month. Am I being too quick to pat myself on the back? (Seven days is currently my longest continuous lock in my relatively recent journey with chastity). Aside from occasionally wanting to masturbate but only making contact with cold steel, my main annoyance so far has been chatting with my mother-in-law who doesn't hear very well. It feels like I'm just seeing the tip of a much larger iceberg of frustration. It’s remarkable how easily we overlook the simple pleasure of a good release. I suspect I’ll either adjust quite rapidly or become a frustrated Onan the Barbarian. Expect more random musings later. > Click to expand... This feels like ages ago.

It's been roughly 35 days of Social Distancing and, more crucially from a personal standpoint, 237 days without an orgasm. Or to phrase it differently, 237 days filled with frustration. I prefer to view this as character development. Sir has reduced her teasing to occasional moments, just sufficient to remind me who holds the power here—though honestly, how could I ever forget? Sir proposed a game: name the TV or movie character who kept their chastity for their wife or girlfriend. Some examples we came up with include Cary Grant playing sub to Katherine Hepburn in Bringing Up Baby; Mulder as sub to Scully in X-Files; and Magnum as sub to Higgins in the new series.

Last night Sir had me remove her cage and informed me that I would be sleeping beside her. She undressed slowly right in front of my eyes. My hopes soared up. So did my cock. Could it be that chastity had awakened her sex drive? Then she declared that I was forbidden from touching her or speaking to her. I was also barred from touching myself. My hopes dropped, but she noticed that my erection remained unaffected. Once we were in bed, Sir spooned me and began teasing without ever once making contact with my cock. I'm not sure how long it went on for, but by the time she stopped, I was suffering in agony. She then rolled over to sleep. Around 3 am, I woke from a potent erotic dream involving a girl sucking my fingers. Even within my dreams, I couldn't get a blow job! I thought I was about to cum and had accidentally woken Sir. When I explained why I was awake, she handed me her Jailbird along with the support strap and instructed me to lock up again. It became clear that my erection was too large to fit inside, so she made me kneel by the bed without a pillow until I softened once more. After it was back on, Sir told me this was to ensure I didn't become too comfortable wearing her cage; that I remained constantly aware of both the device and my submission, reinforcing my understanding that I am forbidden any sexual pleasure unless given explicit permission and supervision. I was ordered to spend the rest of the night in my usual spot on the floor. What she had done was make me feel deeply submissive after having eased up slightly on our play routine. I found the weight of the submission collar around my neck quite comforting. She certainly knows how to drive her point home. When we finally rose, Sir inspected her cage until she was satisfied that I hadn't so much as leaked during sleep.

Sir and I were enjoying a quiet Saturday evening when she brought up the topic of our CFnm situation and mentioned that she intended to have me wear an article of clothing to emphasize my state of nudity. The next morning Sir told me I was going to give her a fashion show using items from her closet. Naturally, I did exactly that. After being naked at home for some time, I became extremely conscious of wearing clothes again. The last picture shows what Sir had me wear throughout the day. The black slip came in as a close second, so I suspect it will appear again soon.

Today Sir told me she wanted to experiment with Susan's look, which meant stuffing my genitals inward and securing them in place with a DIY gaff. I have to admit that the results were surprising, though somewhat uncomfortable. The reader can judge for themselves.

Day 245 locked and orgasm free. Currently feeling very horny. When I made Sir aware of this state she said "That's too bad" and let me know that I was definitely not getting released from chastity until at least Oct. 20, which makes one full year locked and orgasm free. Sir then added that tease and denial would continue; she would show no pity. Yesterday Sir gave me the task of creating a chain belt to support her Jailbird. After some shopping I fashioned the belt with an extra refinement: clear tubing over the chain to prevent the links from digging into my skin. Sir was pleased with the results. She has told me more than once that she enjoys making me an active participant in my submission. To celebrate, Sir took more photos of me wearing masks. I am starting to wonder what her plans are for them. It is not my place to ask. She'll tell me when she's ready.

Ron33, thank you. I'm pleased to hear that my journal entries resonated with you.

Sir spotted the missing tag on the new belt and corrected it immediately.

"I was cleaning the bathroom this morning when Sir came in and told me to wash my hands and follow her. She led me to the bedroom and had me put on the puppy mask. Sir then tied my wrists together, placed them over the hook on top of the bedroom door—just like she did recently—but now she secured them directly to the hook. Next, she took out a marking pen and drew the female symbol on my stomach. When she was satisfied with her artwork, she stood next to me, speaking in a low tone about how useless my locked cock is and listing all the things I would never do with her again. All this time, she ran her fingernails over my body. She held my balls by their fingertips, scratching them lightly. 'It's been a long time since you let yourself cum,' she said. 'Remember when I told you that you aren't allowed to cum until you make a year? Well, I meant it.' She knelt down and exhaled on my scrotum, causing the skin to tighten. She told me to look at her and then touched the tip of her cage with her tongue without ever making contact with my skin. I felt nothing. Seeing how close I was getting, she laughed and stood up, looking at me filling out the cage. Sir then announced that puppy needed to calm down and that staying put was best for me. She said she would return in a couple of hours to take me down. It was easily the longest two hours I can recall. Sir is taking tease and denial up several notches.

Sir just had me unlock myself so I could edge while looking at her topless. It didn't take long before I was ready to cum. As instructed, I stopped right there, so close. Sir told me to lock up again. My erection wouldn't fit in the cage. She ordered me to stuff it in anyway. Fortunately, I had softened enough soon after to force myself inside with some help from baby oil. I got so close that I could have cried when I had to stop. Sir said she’s going to remain topless for the rest of the afternoon. As I sit here typing this update, Sir is standing behind me, her breasts pressed against my neck and lightly pinching my nipples. I’ve had to correct for mis-hit keys quite a bit. I was just told to stop typing and go do some laundry.

Sir just handed me new underwear which would "totally change" my look. She wasn't kidding around. She wants me to share this new appearance with everyone here.

June 9, Day 272 orgasm free. Today Sir presented me with a gift she had bought three months ago that had just arrived: a full belt. I was instructed to size it snug and told I would wear it for the rest of the year. When I reminded her that I was scheduled for an orgasm in October, she responded, "Oh, that's cancelled." I hope she is just messing with me. Sir insisted that I swap out the brass lock that came with the belt for a Master Lock. Subtlety at its finest. I can neither see nor feel my penis inside the tube anymore. The belt feels solid and permanent. It truly feels like submission.

Wearing the belt. First of all, I have to say that this full belt can be uncomfortable. The tube curves under, splitting my balls, which requires careful movement, especially when bending over or sitting down. I can see that lube where the tube rubs against my sack will become important. Sir pointed out an obvious consideration: if I start to get hard and grow past where the tube sharply bends between my legs, I am probably in for an unpleasant time. In addition, I've found that urinating is uncomfortable rather than a welcome release. This is likely due to trying to straighten myself while going. It feels as though I could actually burst a blood vessel if I don't maintain a gentle flow. Last night Sir let me sleep next to her after being banished to the floor for so long. She said in a serious voice that she would play with my balls if I asked, but warned me that getting hard while wearing the belt could be painful. She tapped the tube a couple of times with her fingernail. I could feel an immediate increase in restriction within the tube. Sir then told me that I had the option of asking her not to play with me. I realized she has put me in a position where now I don't want to get hard; instead of wanting sexual attention from her, I have to ask her permission to remain soft. And I also need to be certain I am soft before urinating. This is a form of control I had not expected. Previously, she could tease me to the point of almost cumming, and that frustration would feel like torture. Now, just getting hard will be more than frustrating; it will physically unpleasant, bordering on painful. Sir has ordered me to post the attached photos to show off how the belt restricts me, as well as a note detailing what I must say to her when I wake up every morning and before going to bed each night.

Sir has taken to tapping her nails on the penis tube when I am not expecting it. It is understood that I must remain still while she does this, trying hard not to get uncomfortably erect. Trying very hard, so to speak. This feels like the most "in chastity" state I have been in for some time. I think it’s a combination of the rigidity of the belt and the total isolation of my penis. I've worn solid tubes before, but this combination really gives Sir the domination and control over me that we agreed would define our relationship. My staying otherwise naked at home does reinforce my submission, though that isn't strictly necessary. Sir asked if I thought she had shared with anyone we know that I was in chastity. Did I think she might have shared photos of me locked up in a chastity cage? When I said "No," she replied, "Interesting." When I asked her what she meant by that, she just said "nothing." Apparently, she feels I need a little anxiety in my life during the pandemic lockdown. Do I now think she has shared that info with someone we both know? I hate to say it, but I guess it is possible. Now I'll be alert for the slightest indication that one or more of our friends know something. Yay. Speaking of the pandemic, Sir has informed me that she won't be giving me any more virus spankings. It no longer amuses her. Written a few hours later: We were talking about nothing in particular when Sir told me she had been thinking about our talk from a couple of months ago, regarding how she didn't like being penetrated and used her physical problems as an excuse to avoid having sex with me. While that was never going to change, now that I understood this reasoning, she wouldn't mind having me give her oral once as a test. She would see if she might want to do it again. That's how she put it. Not the most romantic suggestion I've ever heard, and more importantly, one I never expected from her. When I told her I was all for it, she said I had to understand that I would remain locked. My chastity was not going to end. Oral sex would be strictly for her pleasure, just one more way for me to serve her. If I am lucky, she might let me give myself an orgasm once in a blue moon. This was non-negotiable. I agreed to her terms, but honestly, I had a moment of hope that she would leave penile sex as at least a possibility, however remote. No such luck. I told her that I would do my best to please her however she wants. She said that when she allows it, I better do a good job because it is my one and only audition for being allowed to touch her sexually. I have to confess I'm worried about not pleasing her. If I get hard while going down on her, will it be too uncomfortable for me to perform well? I just realized this could be some diabolical mind fuck of hers; she has no intention of letting me lick her pussy. I have to think positive and not let her psych me out.

With the news now talking about the city opening soon after lockdown, Sir mentioned that we should begin discussing a tattoo to mark (literally) my submission. To get things rolling, Sir applied a temporary "Owned" tattoo under the new belt. It is attached below.

I forgot to ask Sir not to get me aroused when we went to bed earlier. My penalty was an extended session of teasing, with my stiffening cock trapped in the torturous tube. Which is why I'm awake now. I can almost relax when I start to remember the feel of her hands on me. But then I start to get hard again, and the curved tube between my legs does its job in training me to want to stay soft. As long as I am wearing this belt, I want to avoid erections. I never thought I would say that and mean it. I remember a while ago Sir told me she would train me not to get hard and not to cum. Not just physically, but not to *want* to. Basically, she said she would retrain me so that eventually she has total control of my mind and body. I'm beginning to think she was being literal and that I should have taken her at her word. I guess the ultimate goal is to thoroughly retrain me to be naturally submissive to her, until the belt won't even be necessary anymore. Her wish will literally be my command. Or maybe this belt is making me paranoid. Just had a pee, and when I gave the tube a shake to empty it thoroughly, I saw that I was dripping precum. Part of the retraining process? Is a hands-free ruined orgasm next?

Today Sir had me dressing up for her to display the new belt. Afterward, she announced I needed to shave my head without giving any reason why. I felt proud that I didn't ask for an explanation or hesitate before complying. As a reward, Sir allowed me to sleep in our bed tonight. Along with her usual evening massage, I've been tasked with clipping her toenails this time. There's comfort in doing these small chores for my mistress, the woman I love.