Journals and blogs discussion

Life has its own way of interfering, sometimes. Even after nearly two decades together, with kink and fetish woven into that life from the start—the last three years or so have been tough. After she lost her job of ten years, one I also held (and left six months later)—our lives shifted dramatically. Sometimes for the better: my new role pays well, commands respect, and allows me to work remotely. Other times not as much: her final position was soul-crushing, and with hindsight, she felt depressed during those last eight months—it knocked down her confidence in herself, her dominant side, and her place within our relationship. I imagine many men can relate—as a sub who enjoys chastity, lingerie, and bondage, I wanted nothing more than to please her and help her rediscover that nature. But this caused its own stress and friction because she didn’t want anything to do with chastity, lingerie, or bondage for years—or at least, she lost her way with it and didn’t truly “get it” for a while. However, over the past month or so, she’s found herself in a much better spot regarding work. I’m also feeling clearer-headed, and we’ve been talking almost non-stop about how to get our footing again. Ultimately, she has been finding her feet as a dominant, rediscovering who she is and what she prefers, learning once more how to be herself. Consequently, we now operate under a set of house rules that keep my mind focused on the specific things she wants to see. I wear a cage from waking until sleeping. She chooses my lingerie each day. Last night was special; for the first time in ages, she went out to the local fetish club while I stayed home locked up with our child. It was a fantastic experience for her—she identified the dominant traits she wants to develop further, and we had a long conversation this morning about how to bring that about. It’s amusing—we’ve been married roughly 12 years, together around 17—and still find ourselves discovering new things, helping each other explore who we are, and learning constantly. For everyone just starting out in this lifestyle or in a relationship involving it: keep talking, keep working at it, keep trying. It pays off!