Journals and blogs discussion

Hello. This marks the beginning of what I hope will be a continuing series as things develop over time. My wife, who has been my goddess for nearly three decades, and I are shifting our lifestyle toward a more formal Female Led Marriage (FLM) setup.

We’ve spent almost a year discussing and planning this change, officially launching last Sunday. To give some context: I previously shared my history here up until a couple of years ago when life circumstances—such as parental health issues—took their toll. However, I have been practicing chastity intermittently for over seven years. Initially, my partner’s involvement was minimal, but it has grown significantly, and now she holds control by our mutual agreement.

In my opinion, any play or lifestyle adjustments in this realm succeed through continuous consent from both parties. If managed well, the FLM lifestyle offers a fascinating journey ahead.

Back to the planning phase: We decided that if we want to see whether I can remain locked for an indefinite period (with work and life ensuring occasional breaks), I should wear one device or another continuously for several months until we are convinced this is feasible. My previous longest stay in confinement was seven weeks, ended by external family matters rather than our own.

My motivation for wanting my goddess to assume more control was straightforward: historically, I haven’t been the best partner, and she has struggled with self-esteem issues that I failed to support adequately—and sometimes even contributed to. For me, this is a time of repayment as well; the dynamic excites me, so I hope it’s a win-win situation. Ultimately, I stayed locked for just under three months, allowing myself releases since there was no intention to deny them entirely during that period. In practice, I only came a few times, making it a solid test. The devices used were the HT2 and a modified stainless steel ring-based device tailored for better fit. While the HT2 is effective, its material doesn’t allow skin to breathe well, leading to dead skin buildup and irritation. With ball-trap devices generally—and I’ve tried most—I apply Vaseline around the scrotum to prevent friction.

We took a weekend away to review our progress and drafted an agreement—not a strict contract, but a formal outline of roles, responsibilities, rules, and penalties regarding discipline. Since my goddess isn’t entirely comfortable with disciplining me herself, we agreed to seek out a professional for that role.

By arrangement, I visited a highly regarded professional I discovered after extensive research. My first visit involved several new experiences, but per our agreement, I must remain locked without orgasm during the week prior and the week following each visit, meaning no self-pleasure allowed while in confinement. My next post will detail that inaugural visit.