Chastity and orgasm denial discussion

As I noted in my introduction post earlier, we placed our order for the JailBird toward the end of December. After customizing it with extras (a security screw to avoid a large padlock and an anti-pull-out feature to test out), rushing the shipping wasn’t financially feasible, so there are 6-8 weeks before we can begin.

That being said, I would love to collect tips and suggestions for us as beginners in chastity play. I came across this post on Tumblr recently and shared it with my wife; she really liked it, saying it fits our dynamic perfectly. Unlike much of the other information available which is largely driven by male fantasies.

Some enjoyable concepts for couples into chastity Here are some ideas and advice for couples exploring a female-led relationship that includes chastity. These aren’t “advanced techniques,” nor do I claim to be an expert, but over our 6 years in this lifestyle, these have been among the most important lessons I’ve learned. If you seek total domination of your husband in all areas of life, this article might not be for you. However, if you want a more fun, kinky, and exciting sex life with slightly more household control while helping him become a better partner to you, this may help. How long should he remain locked? I firmly believe the duration is up solely to the keyholder, but some enjoy varying things, so here are several enjoyable ways to let chance decide.

• Decide on the number of orgasms he must give to the keyholder before earning his own release.
• The keyholder might require him to provide 10 oral services, 10 using a vibrator, and 10 using his cock before he earns that right. Or perhaps 20 with fingers and 5 orally, plus 5 with a dildo or strap-on; you get the idea.
• What about adding one day every time he has an orgasm? So if he lasted 21 days this round, he must wait 22 next time.
• There is a myriad of dice games that could be utilized. If you search for “dice chastity game” online, there is an endless supply to choose from.
• Marbles seem to be another favorite; again, searching for “marble chastity game” reveals plenty of options.
• I find using trivia to determine his lock-up time particularly fun. While lying in bed, the keyholder can ask a series of questions about anything she wishes, and for every wrong answer he gives, he gets locked up for a day or week (or whatever period the keyholder desires). This is enjoyable because the keyholder still controls the duration by choosing the number or difficulty of questions. Try Keyholder trivia; she asks what she likes, you both have fun, and learn what makes your keyholder happy!
• I also think it’s a significant turn-on for the sub to know that regardless of what the “game” dictates as his time, he knows it is ultimately up to his keyholder. So when the moment comes that he has earned his orgasm, simply tell him, “I know you were supposed to have an orgasm today, but I have decided to keep you locked another few days.” Fun things for the Keyholder to say to keep the sub excited. It is important for the keyholder to remember that for a sub in chastity, it is a 24/7 commitment. Sometimes all it takes is the smallest reminder from his keyholder to get his libido back up and racing, keeping things exciting for him.
• “Tonight sweetie, you can be my little brown noser.”
• “Oh! Sweetie, your cage looks tight and uncomfortable! Oh well, you will just have to suffer for me.”
• “You haven’t thanked me for locking up your cock and controlling your orgasms in quite a while. Do you have anything to say to me?”
• After he has given you an oral orgasm, you could say, “Sweetie you are getting so good with your tongue, pretty soon I will never have to unlock your cock!”
• After inspecting his cage to ensure it is secure, you might say something like, “Hmmm, maybe we should get a size smaller.”
• “Sweetie I seem to have lost the key, oh well, we won’t be needing it for a long time anyway.”
• “Denying you is so much more fun than letting you orgasm, I might never let you cum again!”
• Every time you lock his device, say something like, “Now thank me for controlling your orgasms,” or, “There we go, my cock is locked up again, until the next time I need it.”
• You get the idea; anything to remind him that you are in control will excite him and keep him happy for quite a while. Tease and Denial: I think this is the most crucial part of chastity as well as a successful female-led relationship. There are numerous entire websites and articles with ideas out there, so I’ll let you find your own fun concepts, but I’d like to remind you that it doesn’t have to last only an hour; there are ways to tease your sub all day without lifting a finger.
• Have him shave his pubic hair. It is more comfortable wearing a cage when shaved anyway. Every time he goes to the bathroom, it serves as another reminder of your control.
• Assign him to make you a sex toy or bondage device, like a leg spreader, or install eye bolts for tying him off.
• Give him a list of chores you want completed, with the understanding that if they aren’t done, he will be punished.
• Make him clean the house dressed as a woman.
• Have him hand wash your panties and lingerie.
• Send him on an errand wearing a butt plug.
• Tell him you need new panties and want him to buy them for you. When he gives them to you, say that you think they will look better on him, and make him wear them.
• Before he leaves for work, make him lick your pussy and tell him that he now has the privilege of smelling you every time he inhales.
• You can set rules for him, such as having to ask permission to use the bathroom or addressing you as mistress or princess for the day.