Novices and newbies discussion

My honest truth: I never thought I’d be here. I was living the vanilla life prior to meeting my husband. I had wanted to try new things, but either wasn’t with a partner I trusted well enough yet, or I trusted said partner, but they had no interest in branching out and trying new things. Shocking, I know. When I met my husband, we felt very comfortable with each other in general because we had both been in similar situations with our previous spouses. So, comfort in conversation came easy to us. When the time arrived for us to talk about our wants, needs, desires, etc., it wasn’t difficult for me to admit that I wanted to try new things. But I just wasn’t sure what. However, my husband was a little more slow to reveal things he wanted to try. Although he did not have much experience in this lifestyle with a partner, there were some things he had tried on his own (joined forums such as this, made a few friends that were already in this lifestyle, etc.). So compared to me, he already had experience, where I had none. After a short while, he confided in me and told me some of his fantasies in this area. I could tell he was waiting for a horrified reaction from me. But he didn’t get one. Although I had no idea what most of what he told me meant, I was interested in finding out, even if I couldn’t promise I would want to try all, some, or any of what he was interested in. After a little bit of him explaining to me what he was looking to try, we started looking at cages, going to a group once a month a few times, and testing out the chastity waters. We eventually tried this for real. We made a set of rules, rewards, punishments. Everything. But I will admit, I failed him. It wasn’t that I didn’t try the things he wanted. It was that I tried them, was ok with it, but did not make a conscious effort to keep it up on a regular basis. At one point we stopped. He wasn’t happy. It’s not that he wasn’t happy with my performance when I did my part. He was happy that I didn’t do my part consistently. And I will say, he was quite justified in his feelings. He was being the BEST footman and making sure he was doing everything he agreed to when we started. But I wasn’t. So his displeasure was with him doing what he agreed to, but I wasn’t. He didn’t say anything right away because he didn’t want to hurt my feelings. When he finally said something, I felt so embarrassed. Not because he called me out for not fulfilling my end, but because I knew how important this was to him and I did not make it a priority. After months of not doing this, I actually started to miss it. In December ‘17 I brought up trying again to my footman. I think he was slightly shocked. But, we restarted. I will say that since we have restarted, I have made sure to be consistent and incorporate this in our DAILY life. I have noticed (as well as received verbal confirmation from my footman) that my footman has been MUCH happier this go around. I also have been much happier. I see how much this means to him, I see how happy my effort makes him, and even though he strives to please me, it pleases me to know he is also pleased. We already have plans to expand our exploring (once I’ve mastered what we’re currently doing). You may be vanilla now, but you can decide to become whatever flavor you want. I DID. -Beautiful