Journals and blogs discussion

To start with, neither my wife nor I had much interest in kink or BDSM of any kind. Still, for the past fifteen years, I have indulged my fetish by wearing women’s panties. A few years back, I broadened this hobby to include HWLLPGs and waist cinchers. My wife wasn’t overly fond of it at first, but she learned to accept it and seemed to enjoy seeing and feeling the nylon-clad setup.

A couple of years ago, my wife went through menopause, which caused our intimacy and sexual life to drop significantly. I had been masturbating twice a day since age fifteen, but as her libido declined during menopause, self-pleasure became my primary source of sexual relief.

After menopause ended, my wife’s sex drive started to return. Unfortunately, years of frequent masturbation had already weakened my ability to get aroused by her and made it harder for me to achieve and keep an erection while in bed with her. Surprisingly, I never struggled when I handled things myself.

Following three consecutive disappointing encounters over a few months, I started avoiding sex with her because I feared another embarrassing failure. My wife was clearly frustrated, upset, and unsatisfied, yet she never complained or blamed me for failing to meet my duties as husband and partner. Deep down, I realized she had likely taken the blame upon herself, assuming that I no longer found her beautiful, sexy, or arousing enough. It broke my heart seeing her carry this weight when I knew full well that I was solely responsible for our bedroom issues. I have never felt more ashamed of myself in all my life. I knew a change was necessary, but what and how?

I thought about the situation for several months. Eventually, I realized that not only did I need to stop masturbating once and for all, but I also needed to prioritize my wife’s sexual satisfaction above my own. However, given this thirty-five-year habit, could I really succeed? I felt success was unlikely unless I replaced the old habit with a new one. I prayed that God would provide an answer.

A few weeks later, I woke up in the night, much like you do after a vivid dream. But it wasn’t just a dream; almost instantly, an idea arrived fully formed—a complete thought.

It took me a couple of weeks to process what had happened; something inspired me to bring chastity into my life. A week later, I understood that this would take the form of a male chastity device. Now came the difficult task of explaining all this to my wife without her thinking I’d lost my mind.

I figured the best time to raise such a sensitive topic was after what we could consider our very best sex ever together. For this to happen, I needed to relearn true intimacy between man and woman if I wanted any chance at decent performance.

I recalled when we were first dating and newly married: holding hands, me opening doors for her, kissing often—including French kisses—and caressing her cheeks, neck, hips, waist, and breasts while kissing. These moments always aroused us both. Often, this kind of contact didn’t lead directly to sex but instead built anticipation and yearning between us.

So I spent the next week or so reintroducing these gestures into our relationship to rekindle intimacy. The next time I gave her a deep, passionate kiss out of nowhere, she responded warmly, which helped trigger an impressive erection for me. She remarked, “My, aren’t we affectionate tonight!” and I replied that I realized ”… I really missed that part of our relationship and felt it was something that we needed to do more regularly.” She agreed.

A few days later was Saturday. We had a nice dinner out with some cocktails. Afterward, she hinted that she “might want to have some fun” when we got home and asked if I might be interested. As she spoke, she casually brushed her hand across my lap to check for arousal; I was halfway there. What she was really asking was whether I thought I could still “achieve and maintain.” I told her I would give it my best shot.

When we got home, the passionate kissing started almost immediately as we walked in, and her firm groping of my crotch confirmed that I was ready. I quickly freshened up (mouthwash, cologne, etc.) and headed to the bedroom. When she followed a few minutes later, the room was dimly lit by candles with soft music playing. I took things slower than I had in years, satisfying her twice before finally penetrating and finishing.

In the afterglow as we lay together, I told her there was something important we needed to discuss. Slowly, I explained my frequent masturbation habits and how I realized I was solely responsible for my past poor performance and lack of arousal. She tried to reassure me that she shared some responsibility, but I persisted until she began to understand the real negative effects of frequent masturbation on intimacy and performance. I told her I had found a solution: it would help me stop masturbating forever, allow me to direct my sexual energy toward her, put her in charge of my orgasm (only after she was satisfied), and add spice to our love-making.

Then I said, “I can’t even believe I’m saying this. I want to buy myself a male chastity device.” Her reaction wasn’t exactly favorable, but she let me finish. I continued, “I know what image that brings up—like some medieval contraption—but it’s not about being tied down like in BDSM. This is about fit, form, and function. The plastic cage I’m interested in fits snugly around the penis and locks onto a ring behind the scrotum. Because it’s locked, it prevents masturbation. It also minimizes stimulation to re-sensitize the penis over time, allowing me to achieve bigger, harder erections. Since I won’t be expending energy on my own, I’ll refocus that energy on you, ensuring we become more intimate and you get thoroughly satisfied. Your satisfaction comes first; I will ensure I don’t orgasm until you’ve had as many times as you want. And let’s face it, this should certainly spice things up in the bedroom.”

She was still quite upset but said she needed time to process everything. I mentioned that there are plenty of websites and books covering this topic and offered to share some internet links and a Kindle book written from a female perspective. I asked her to stick with my recommended links so she wouldn’t stumble upon hardcore BDSM sites that might scare her off. I also suggested she avoid searching for photos of these devices online, as

I didn’t want to overwhelm her with a jarring image that might stick in her mind. Instead, I gave her some space to process everything, promising to answer any questions she had without putting pressure on her. She would decide how we moved forward.

About seven days later, I texted the online links to her. A couple of days passed before I checked if she’d looked at them; she admitted she hadn’t yet. I told her those resources would speed up her understanding and acceptance. Then, about a week after that, she started coming to me with questions—real progress.

After half an hour chatting, I offered to show her pictures of the device (a CB-6000S). She felt it wasn’t too ugly. Next, I displayed a photo of someone actually wearing one. Again, she thought it was acceptable and seemed somewhat interested. Lastly, I asked for her thoughts on my proposal that I become a caged man. Her answer? She wanted to do whatever made me happy. With such a loving, caring, understanding, and accepting wife by my side, I purchased the CB-6000S shortly after, starting my chastity journey just days later.