Journals and blogs discussion

> ABITNUTTY said: > The topic of keeping myself chaste has come up repeatedly during our twenty-five years together, usually just as occasional fantasy play before fading away quickly because it didn't really help me at all—it was almost the opposite. My husband was my first and only partner ever, so I stayed a virgin until we married when I was 28. He had recently divorced before meeting me. > > I can't recall exactly how chastity became a topic of conversation again, but over time we bought several devices that just didn't fit right; they would slip off easily since none were sized for his specific body shape. Still, the concept was hard to grasp. With every new device he tried on, he'd say he wasn't sure why he functioned this way, but insisted I needed full sexual control over him. I used to think, "How can I do that when I barely understand SEX at all?" I felt defeated before really understanding myself sexually. How was I supposed to take total charge of his sexuality??? During our first year married, I realized I wasn't having an orgasm even though I thought I was; the truth came out only after using a vibrator he had bought for me. > > Every time chastity returned to discussion, it disappeared almost as fast, mostly due to my hesitation. > > Jump ahead to early September this year... I plunged down into the deepest part of myself figuratively and entered FULL BLOWN CRISIS MODE. I admit here that I have carried trust issues throughout MY ENTIRE LIFE, gnawing at my soul intensely, and my husband knows this well. He just didn't realize how deep they went. Suddenly, a bright idea hit my modest brain: after 24 years of marriage, MIGHT he possibly be getting something from another woman that I wasn't providing him?! The more I pondered it, the closer I felt to LOOSE MY EVERLOVIN’ MIND. > > He returned home from work and did his usual routine. We sat in our separate chairs with the tv on some channel—I don’t remember which... On this specific evening, we rarely spoke much beyond surface-level comments. Sitting there, my insides churned like a VOLCANO about to erupt... I couldn't hold back any longer. I had to ask.. “Whose house were you at???” Oh, that response was REAL well received. > > A bit more time passes... The Jail Bird topic resurfaced, and this time I’m COMPLETELY ON BOARD. NO DOUBTS about it. I was the one who pushed for the order. Now here I am in my 50s, much more aware of my sexuality and finally embracing deeply what he needs from me. > > I believe remnants of that initial crisis still linger occasionally, but I’m definitely not where I started. There is NO ONE else I’d talk to about these matters...no one I trust... because trusting others has always been a struggle for me. > > We drafted a formal agreement, signed it, and stepped into this new lifestyle, wanting to be exactly what he needs from me. We both expect MANY changes ahead. WE BOTH deserve improvement from each other. > > I look forward to our new way of LIVING and the shifts it will undoubtedly bring us. I AM ALL IN. Wow - wish my wife had that sudden motivation to try something!

Thanks for sharing your story and opening up about issues, it means a lot. There is no one-way to do it. Chastity can begin for different reasons and be beneficial for different reasons. I'm glad it's working for both of you:)

Normally I would say that adding a chastity device because of trust issues is a recipe for disaster, there is more to chastity than wearing a cage and holding a key. But I will say that although it is not the primary reason my kh enjoys me in chastity, I think she would be lying if she didn’t think of it as a very nice side benefit. The absolute certainty that I won’t be physically unfaithful I am sure makes her feel good, as well as the fact that I willingly am ok with it. Good luck to you both and hope you two have fun

It sounds like you have found a reason to enjoy something that your husband finds important. Here’s to hoping you both will see improvements in your marriage. I travel a lot for work (3-4 days most weeks) and even though fidelity has never been an issue, my wife does like knowing that I can’t do anything while I’m gone. Definitely no cheating, and no masturbation.

@ABITNUTTY well please Mistress has Your man been a naughty man and gone off with another Lady. i has read what You sayed but i still don't know really. If he has he needs a smack.

> Nicoftime said: > The absolute certainty that I won’t be physically unfaithful I am sure makes her feel good, as well as the fact that I willingly am ok with it. The thought of any form of unfaithfulness, whether it is physical or emotional, is enough to send me into that outer realm of darkness, and I would hope that my husband would just end our marriage right away if he thought he wanted to get something started up with someone else, physical OR emotional. I pray that never happens, but people change. One never knows if the person they have chosen to spend the rest of their life with recripricates those feelings. I do realize that chastity is far more than just a cage with a key. My husband is wearing that cage to which I have the only keys. He has explicit trust in me that I “do the right thing.” He told me he trusts me with his life. I mustn’t let him down. Right now, this is as much about him as it is about me, but I want it to turn into much more...