Female led relationships discussion

> Dogchasecats said: > Someone wrote me asking what keyholder techniques actually work for me. He said his keyholder asked him to get working techniques. > Here are some that work for me, perhaps you would share some that work for you. > Techniques that work: > 1. Learn what is a turn on: > One of the best things I did was have my husband blog on tumblr about his experience and things he likes. It gives me tools to use to flood his brain with chemicals.. It’s a blog where he posts his chastity experiences. He he tells me what he liked about our relationship. It is at Since everyone is different yours will be different too. Knowing what he likes is priceless since I want to keep him sexually high. Without keeping him at a very high sexual state the magic is gone > 2. Be serious: > I found the stricter I am about it the better he behaves. If I am constantly checking up on him he “feels it” more. I rarely let him touch himself and am really strict about that. I am overly serious about keeping him hands off. > nstantly Sexually High > Don’ let him cum often but let him get close multiple times a day > This used to be a chore for me but I make him do most of the work. I make him take off his hardware and wank, or leave it on and vibe the cock cage. He needs to be edged up several times a day. I used to do all the work but now I make him do most of it. If he is not full of chemicals it’s not working. > 4. Knowing and adjusting levels > I often ask him his level by texting him a single “?”. He answers with a to 10. This lets me know how sexually high he is. When ever he texts me for any reason he is to put his current level after the text. Sometimes I can see the number raise or lower after I say something. He can text me with a “?” And if I feel like it I will text him back with a satisfaction 1- to 10. I sometimes do it after each text, sometimes not. I don’t have to answer but he does. This lets me know where he is at. If he is low on the scale I can Raise his level. > Maybe make him go give me a dangerous proof pic. > A semi public feel up. > Or have him video call me with my cam off and his on and watch him vibe or edge. Sometimes I don’t even watch, but he doesn’t know that. > I will tell him to edge and what to think about. > I might have him put his hands behind his back and watch me use my vibe as he tells me all the things he likes about me as I get off. I like master bating to non stop comments about how amazing, pretty and wonderful I am. > 5. Constant reminders: > I want him constantly reminded about being locked and always thinking I could check up on him at any time. It was exhausting to have to do this myself so I put it on auto pilot by making him check in and now just randomly manually text when I feel like it will be fun for me. I put all that work on him though. I make him text me on the threes. Thats any time that can be divided by threes. 3, 12, 6 etc. He as to text me thanking me for keeping him locked, telling me he is locked, and complimenting me. He reminds me of something I did for him. Some sexual experience he liked. At first he wanted me to randomly text him which became exhausting and a chore. Now he texts me checking in, telling me he is locked, thanking me and praising me in some way. I do randomly text him or tease him but only when I feel like it. He has to text me on the threes though. I like the constant praise and he is mentally reinforcing his lock up and dependance on my good will for his pleasure. He has to search his mind several times a day for something he likes about me. If he doesn’t do a good job on his texts I tell him I am not impressed and to try it again. This makes him feel like he has to bring his best to me. I want his best effort. > 6. Random proof pics. > I really don’t like looking at dick pics but I want to constantly reinforce and remind him he is in captivity. When he is out and about or we are apart I demand proof pics where he takes a pic of his cage on. Sometimes I make him wear panties just to mess around with his “normal”. The more public the better. I want to have some exciting danger chemicals flow through his mind. I don’t want him to get in trouble but I do want him to feel as excited as possible. So he will snap the pics in some sort of public place, trying to make sure he is not seen. If its not daring enough I tell him it’s not acceptable. To try again. He can unzip and take a pic with his cage poking out in a parking lot, store, park etc. The idea is to make him consent to do something slightly risky and embarrassing of his own free will and to repeat it over and over. This creates excitement for him and its linked to me. I become associated with excitement. Plus he is having to do something outside of his comfort zone. He is breaking down barriers in order to please and obey me. They are little barriers but over time it adds up. > 7. “blackmail pictures” > I put all these pics in a safe web place that I call my “blackmail” file. I have a place for all the compromising pics. Examples of the blackmail pics: Proof pics Pics with him holding a sign thats embarrassing Pics wearing embarrassing clothing a bra on his head or in panties Pics with him doing something embarrassing like having my dildo in his mouth while wearing a cock cage flashing a thumbs up. All kinds of stuff. I have all these stored and from time to time I remind him he had better behave and do whatever I tell him to or I could embarrass him big time. I make the threat real but would likely never use them against him. However it is always a little compelling reason I can use when he needs that extra little bump to make him do something just outside his comfort zone. I have lots of little videos and pictures in that file he would not want anyone to see. I told him I have it set to become public if I don’t put in a code every three months into this website that emails people on a list if you don’t check in. The truth is I really don’t have that set up, but I could. In his mind though its another reason not to fuck with me, to be pleasant and not kill me in my sleep. (lol) > 8. Dangerous Affirmations and acts: > Semi public dangerous pleasure affirmation sessions- Sometimes I have him video himself in a bathroom or on his forrest park walks as I give him instructions on what to touch and make him repeat affirmations that I want locked in his pretty head. When he is sort of vulnerable in semi public I make him rub himself while I watch on video. Then when he is pretty worked up I have him repeat his affirmation. It could be anything I want like “ I will always be nice to you” or “I love licking you” or whatever. When he is excited in a place thats a little dangerous and then he has to perform for me it adds up to a chemical bath for his brain that shakes stuff up. Adrenaline, sex, willful obedience make any affirmations really embed themselves into his brain. They stick because of all the exciting chemicals. > 9. Stretching obedience boundaries > I constantly get him sexually excited, then make him do things that are just outside his comfort and embarrassment comfort zones. But only when he has been denied and sexually turned on. Those bottled up chemicals make him more likely to do what I ask. When he does what I ask I wank him a bit or suck on him or make him vibe himself. I want to give out pleasure for obedience. I just gradually go outside what he would willingly do each time I can. Not because I want him to do that stuff but because I want to break down his barriers of saying no to me. I get him sexually charged up and desperate for more pleasure then I get him to voluntarily do some embarrassing things or real life practical things for me that he would normally not do or not want to do. Stuff he procrastinates on. By not being able to master-bate himself he keeps those motivating chemicals bottled up. His body is wanting getting pleasure. He receives a large mix of motivating, feel-good chemicals in his bloodstream when I work him up with various methods. Sadly, his body naturally clears those sexual feel-good chemicals over time. I have to replace them by stimulating him again. As long as I keep his levels high, he is very happy and displays that service attitude I appreciate. It benefits him because I get him to do the things on his to-do list. Then, on top of that, his brain will think up all kinds of things to do to please me. 5. Review the to-dos: I have a session with him at the end of the day. I rub, lick, or vibe him until he is excited (or have him do it while I watch via video). Once he is excited, I have him go over “what you’ve done for me lately” and what he’s going to do soon. In a sexual state, this list becomes pleasurable instead of being just a boring checklist. If he has done a lot, I might edge him several times or randomly make him pop (cum). > 10. Constantly consistent sexually high > It is really important that I keep him full of sexual chemicals. Since they dissipate over time as they are removed from the bloodstream, I need them to be refreshed. I use a few methods to keep him on a slow simmer. > > A1. Physical: > I touch him or make him touch himself. I use my little vibrating wand on him or have him do it while I watch. I grab his parts or rub on them in public when I can get away with it, and also in private. I make him rub himself. Physical stimulation is my biggest tool. When he is not with me, I watch him through Skype or Facebook Messenger. > > A2. Visual: > I change up my looks often; I send him naughty pics; I dress up a lot; I wear makeup; I make him watch me master-bate while I am wearing sexy outfits or lingerie as he watches; I have him vibe himself on and off as I nod ok or signal for him to stop. I have him look at his naughty pic file almost daily. These are pics of me. He keeps them all, and I get him charged up before he reviews them. Sometimes I make him tell me what he likes about each one. Sometimes I make him look at a picture while I sexually touch him. > > A3. Sounds: > I have him listen to recordings of me getting off, or sessions we had together. I whisper things to him in public. I moan in his ear. While talking to another couple, I pass him a note that says “Your caged” or whisper in his ear, “They don’t know your cock is locked and you have to do whatever I tell you.” Sometimes I will whisper, “I may make you tell them that I have you locked right now.” > 11. Mind games and outing: > Actually, I made him tell my cousin right in front of me while we were eating. I had set it up in advance though. My cousin actually told me her boyfriend was into being kept locked up, so we started talking and I spilled the beans. So she already knew. We decided she would act really shocked and ask him all kinds of questions. She asked how obedient he was and what the hardest request to obey was. I told him in front of her, “Look me in the eyes; you must answer all her honestly no matter how embarrassing.” I gave my cousin a quick wink to tell her to really give him the business. She asked how it felt, if he was caged now, did he have a key, would he accept punishment, would he show her the cage if I made him, could she touch it if I allowed it, could she hold the key sometimes and make him do chores, and whether he could refuse any of his key holders' requests. She really got personal and he had to answer them all. It was great fun. I told him he would have to answer any questions she had in the future, and she could demand proof pics anytime. Then finally, she told him how valiant he was and how sexy she thought it was. He went from blushing to proud. It was really fun making him tell her. I secretly got off on his obedience and watching him obey. It was sexy hot. It was really enjoyable. She promised not to tell anyone. > Mind Games: > As an interesting story, I made him pick out 10 friends whom I could tell if I wanted to. Then I told him that I had told one from the list but they were told not to bring it up. Actually, I had told no one, but he thought one of his friends knew but didn’t know which one. I found that amusing. These are a few techniques, though not all. If you use any and find them free (no cost) and effective, all I ask is that you post a thank you back or send a naughty pic or something similar. Maybe you could also post the techniques that work for you.. > Click to expand... Impressive! Have you ever thought about writing a book?

"Submissive" is a key term here. I like how your mind works...but it's so scary for a submissive.

> Mash2214 said: > Impressive! Have you ever thought about writing a book? I forgot the best part of making him tell my cousin. She asked if he would do whatever I told him to, and he said yes. Then she asked if she could see it or touch it when I allowed. He initially said no, which surprised me! I quickly clicked my fingers and sternly called him on that bluster. “How dare you!” I barked. “Just for that, get right now and stand in that corner.” He immediately complied. My cousin gasped, “Oh my God.” “Turn the other way,” I commanded, snapping my fingers again. He turned around. “Now stay there till I decide what to do.” “Yes mam,” he said. I clicked my fingers and barked, “Don’t you say another dammed word!” My cousin was impressed. I apologized to her with a wink, feeling embarrassed but pleased because we had planned this next part. I took out my very good blindfold from my purse and put it on him. “Now turn around,” I said. “Drop your pants while my cousin looks all she wants.” It wasn’t long until he started dripping. I placed a tea saucer under the flow. “She is looking at you in your cage, and you can’t do anything about it,” I told him. “Nod your head.” He nodded. “You’re leaking like a faucet. Are you getting off on the embarrassment?” He nodded again. I turned to my cousin and asked loud enough for him to hear, “Do you really want to touch it?” “Yes, I think so,” she said as he stood there blindfolded. “Look up at the ceiling and don’t you dare move.” To my cousin, I added, “You have my permission to examine and touch it as long as you want.” She silently shook her head in agreement. I put a finger in front of my mouth like we were sharing a secret and motioned her over. She started feeling on the cage while I continued touching it myself, pretending she was doing both. We tried not to giggle. “Oh my God! This is so sexy,” she said. “Wow, it’s steel.” “Wow, this leaky stuff is slick; why is he dripping so much?” She wasn’t actually touching the cage directly, but he didn't know that. “We were really trying not to laugh. “Good boy,” I said, noting his amazingly sexy obedience. “I winked at my cousin and told her, ‘I can make him do whatever the fuck I want.’” “Holy fuck, that’s hot,” she said honestly. “From now on, you will show your cage anytime my cousin wants or send her a proof picture. She’s not allowed to touch unless I am there OR ask you to do anything sexual.” He nodded in agreement. My cousin gasped and clapped her hands really fast. “OMG! This is going to be so much fun!” she said, giddy with excitement. She told my husband that his obedience was amazing and wished she had a man like him. “Can I borrow him for awhile?” she asked, winking at me. “I might lend him out if I feel like it,” I replied. She looked at me and winked back: “What could you make him do?” I answered, “Anything you want as long as his cage stays on and he is not allowed to cum.” “Perfect,” she said. We tried not to giggle again. “If I decide to lend you to my cousin, you will do absolutely anything she tells you to, but the cage must stay on and no cumming. Nod if you agree.” He slowly nodded. My cousin was flushed pink. She didn’t know that I don’t think I would ever actually lend him out. I found his obedience intoxicating; I felt so proud showing him off to my cousin, who was obviously impressed. “Do you want to watch as I make him lick up all his precum?” I asked. “He will do that?” she asked surprisingly. “I’ll ask him. Nod if you will drink up all your precum while my cousin watches.” He nodded. “Oh my God,” my cousin gasped again. This was really fun for me; I felt so proud showing off, and my cousin is in awe of me. I told her to ask him if he gets locked and obedient often, and to make him show off whenever she wants. An obedient man can really be a lot of fun.