Journals and blogs discussion

Greetings everyone,

I’ve been lurking in various corners of the internet for ages… I’ve already introduced myself here, so I won’t repeat that story. About a month ago, I made up my mind to take this seriously and turn my fantasy into reality. I hope this little “blog” can act as a diary documenting my journey. To give you a quick summary: my wife is unaware of my secret desire, but I plan to slowly bring it to her attention while recording the ups and downs along the way.

The Decision After years of watching porn and indulging in selfish (and quite excessive) masturbation, it’s time to shift focus toward my wife. She tolerates a lot, and our relationship needs to center more on her satisfaction. Since she is fairly vanilla, rushing out to announce “I want you to put me into Chastity and oh by the way, I also love cross-dressing” would likely cause chaos. Some people say just dive in headfirst, but I don’t think that approach fits my situation.

I’m taking a gradual path. For a long time, I’ve tried letting her make the decisions, though it hasn’t always worked perfectly because she gets frustrated when I seem to lack an opinion on direct questions.

First Steps As noted, I’ve been observing from afar for quite some time. I decided to acquire a Chastity device to help prevent masturbation independently. Some might argue “just show self-control; the keys are in your pocket.” However, it’s too easy to reach down and give myself a rub. A self-locking device adds an extra layer of protection against my bad habits. The Holy Trainer V2 arrived this week.

I attempted to put it on, but being somewhat foolish, I failed to measure correctly. With the default size, I can force one ball through with significant effort and pain, but struggle to get the second one in. Frankly, I’m not a fan of testicular pain; getting hit there during sports or other activities is extremely unpleasant. Despite pushing as hard as I could, the discomfort was too much. I’ve ordered a larger ring and am now waiting for it to arrive.

To stop myself from touching, I located some Emla cream at home (I’m not entirely sure why we have it). I thoroughly coated my cock and balls; after about ten minutes of slight burning sensation, everything went numb. Since I am uncircumcised, I made sure to apply plenty under the foreskin near the head. Wow—the very first time I experienced true Chastity! It took hours for feeling to return. I really enjoyed it and plan to try this method again soon.

Conclusion I’ll continue sharing my experiences as things progress. I’m doing my best not to fiddle with myself, but it’s challenging. I’ll update you all when the larger ring arrives, probably around the New Year. Really hoping for success here.

One question remains unanswered: What if my wife catches me wearing it? We don’t have sex very often because of (a) our children and (b) both having demanding jobs at major companies. Going a couple of weeks without intercourse isn’t unusual, which is partly why I struggle with self-pleasure. From now on, I’ll work hard to break this habit.

Best Wishes, Cyt