Female led relationships discussion

In brief and for anyone who might learn from our chastity journey, here is our story. We mentioned in other posts that we (my wife as keyholder-mistress) began experimenting with chastity around a decade ago. We gradually evolved over the years—from what was best if you ask us—moving from the plastic « play » chastity of the CB range to the simple steel Carrara, then the more complex Carrara, and finally the Neosteel (two years back). We shifted from wearing it for just a few hours at a time to 24/7 usage about two years ago. I have never been happier. My wife enjoys cuddling, kissing, fondling, and receiving plenty of attention, but she does not feel compelled to have sexual intercourse often. Therefore, having her husband locked up for long periods suits her well. On the contrary, as mistresses here know well, keeping us men from orgasm brings you more attention. When I am out of the belt, I usually cannot control myself. It used to start with watching porn online, getting aroused and masturbating. Then feeling guilty afterward, only to do it again the next day or even hours later. Now my wife keeps me in my belt for one or two months before allowing a full orgasm. We discovered ruined orgasms around the same time I switched to the Neosteel belt and started 24/7 wearing. My wonderful wife has mastered the art of “milking” me by subjecting me to two or three consecutive ruined orgasms every two to three weeks. It is terribly frustrating for me, but it relieves some built-up pressure while keeping me alert because sexual urge and tension remain present. This also keeps me attuned to my wife’s more romantic desires. We achieved roughly 90 % chastity a little while ago. The remaining 10 % made me increasingly unhappy and angry with myself. Why? Because when arousal and frustration became what I considered unbearable, I would give myself the satisfaction of a ruined orgasm by holding a strong vibrator against the steel tube and dry-humping it. It wasn’t quite an true orgasm since you cannot have an erection while directly touching the penis inside the steel tube. Still, I wanted to avoid this more and more. I discussed this with my wife, and we decided to take the next (final?) step with my complete agreement. We agreed that one could try for total chastity using technical means like belts, but you need more than that. We believe 100 % chastity is reached only by combining a CB device with psychology. The submissive who wants to be chaste must flip the switch between their ears…stop thinking about escaping your chastity and start living in it, enjoying it, and helping your mistress by pointing out where weak spots remain so she can help you stay chaste. Do not hunt for orgasms; instead, seek satisfaction in pleasing your mistress by offering her your chastity. She will give much in return. My wife now has complete possession of my penis. A few weeks ago I symbolically handed over my penis to her. This means that mentally, I no longer consider it mine. It is her possession; I just carry it with me. So for me, touching is minimal even when not belted (which happens less often). Usually only for cleaning. Considering my penis, and anything it produces (spunk), as belonging exclusively to my wife helps me mentally control myself toward 100 % chastity. If I feel on the edge of losing control, I tell my wife immediately. She will help by preventing further arousal if needed, restraining me until I calm down again or granting a ruined orgasm to release pressure—but only as a last resort. There were other changes we made too. My wife now holds the keys to our trunks containing BDSM gear and toys. No more access for me to vibrators. I also listed the porn websites I visit and the kinks that help get me aroused, so nothing is hidden from my wife anymore. She was not surprised to learn about SM and rubber sites but was very ashamed when hiding that she knows I get highly aroused by watching shemales and sissies being raped, tied, abused, and humiliated. Probably because I have this fantasy of being in their situation. We discussed it; I can still watch this type of porn, but the computer will be placed in the living room so she can keep an eye on me. The only “non-mistress” source of arousal now allowed is supervised porn websites to avoid spilling any spunk. The only physical self-stimulation permitted is touching my nipples (after years of training they are hyper-sensitive) and occasionally a large dildo up my anus to stimulate the prostate. But always under supervision. For me, it’s decided between my ears: I am going for 100 % chastity and it feels fantastic. We also agreed that my wife will no longer tell me when an orgasm might come, even a ruined one. I just have to wait and be surprised. I know I still get full orgasms occasionally but not knowing if they will happen in one month, two months, three months or tomorrow… In the meantime of course I take excellent care and am very mindful of my wife’s sexual needs. But I stay belted and use only fingers, tongue, dildo’s and vibrator to satisfy her. Hoping that as a good hubby I might get some release with a ruined orgasm and every now and then a real one. We love every minute of it… The next step is buying a Latowski chastity belt for home and night wear. This belt allows even less access to the penis than the Neosteel but is harder for me to wear 24/7 (sitting job). The Neosteel will be used during the day. We are also purchasing a complete segufix restraining set and a hospital bed. My wife wants to proceed with restraining me using the segufix in the spare bedroom before giving me a ruined orgasm, then diapering me and leaving me restrained and diapered overnight to stew. I feel so lucky having a partner (married 30 years this year, together for 33) who makes me feel so happy. I would do anything for her. BDSM has always been important in our life and kept our sexlife from becoming tedious. There are a few things I’d like to add to our play but she cannot do because she dislikes them: no anal play, no eating my spunk and no whips. But who cares? I get so much already. If anyone has suggestions to further increase our enjoyment and chastity life, feel free. If you have questions about our chastity play, don’t hesitate either. Cheers Bathingcaplovers.