Female led relationships discussion

Just musing aloud about the shifting boundaries of what’s now acceptable versus what isn’t. Back when we first got together, she leaned more toward being submissive. I’m not certain if that was because it was expected or if it genuinely turned her on; at least back then she’d say things like “I’m your slut,” but since I started wearing the cage, those remarks have stopped. She also didn’t mind a slap to the rear, would ask what she could do for me, and blowjobs were commonplace during sex. Any position worked fine. Nowadays, a mere slap on the butt feels like it demands a serious paddling in return. She doesn’t ask what she can do for me anymore; her riding is now the default unless she grants permission with “you can be on top,” which always happens only after I’ve earned the right to cum and am working toward that goal. It’s amusing how things shift when everything runs according to her preferences, particularly regarding positions. Sure, some angles are harder for me to reach or don’t go in as deep, but it never occurred to me just how much she disliked other options until I was making the choice every time. It wasn’t until then that I realized if given a say, she’d prefer not to perform oral sex on me. The double standard extends equally to adding partners. If I said I wanted to sleep with someone else, I think it would drive her crazy! I don’t doubt she wouldn’t feel guilty or “wrong” for telling me she wants to fuck another woman; she just wouldn’t do the deed herself and has admitted that having sex with a stranger feels too scary and strange. She prefers to keep that as a fantasy, but the key point is she’s comfortable admitting it turns her on, whereas I suspect she’d be furious if I told her the same thing. Granted there are physical reasons why this appeals to her—and why I’m somewhat open to her pursuing it (since men like me tend to be more endowed, masculine, and dominant)—but we aren’t standing on equal ground anymore regarding acceptable or expected behaviors as we used to. Even orgasms have become a point of contention. I know that’s part of the deal in chastity, but before all this started, she understood people get themselves off; although it wasn’t explicitly discussed, she felt it was natural. Now, if she suspects I’ve had an orgasm without her knowledge or permission, she gets genuinely upset and takes it as a personal slight. Meanwhile, I watch her pleasure herself constantly; sometimes she even mentions while at work that she’s going to use the doxy wand, doing so with absolutely no guilt. Just some reflections on how unequal our perceptions of what is “ok” have become. I’m certainly not complaining—I think having total honesty and seeing her happy is exactly what I’ve always wanted… just thinking out loud about how what works well for the gander isn’t necessarily acceptable behavior for the goose:rolleyes::D