Journals and blogs discussion

I might have titled this Chapter Two… but Hangover felt like the better fit. When I first joined CM, I was a total beginner and lucky enough to have an incredible (virtual) keyholder. We connected on FetLife and became instant iFriends. Over time, we swapped thousands of emails, texts, videos, and photos. Through that communication, she and I got to know each other’s sexuality pretty well. When she found out about my new interest in chastity, she kindly offered to be my virtual keyholder and Domme. Naturally, I said yes. She told me: “I’m going to lead you down the path of ruin. Your orgasms will go downhill. Your cock will suffer. Your masculinity will fade. You’ll find other women lacking after this. You’ll submit to me. I’ll turn you into a submissive sissy who craves his cock tied up.” And she did. Boundaries shifted, lines were crossed, and limits expanded as we pushed them. I went through sub-space and sub-drop, eventually becoming genuinely submissive to her. Making her happy meant everything to me. Letting her down? That broke my heart. Once you’ve tasted it, you’re hooked. Then, after six months, she suddenly ended our dynamic. She had fallen for her childhood best friend and felt like she was being unfaithful to him. I wished them well. It hurt badly. I was angry, lost, and a bit of a mess. Depression set in, along with too much alcohol. Trying to self-lock during that time was a disaster. It took some time—maybe a couple of months—for me to pull myself together and continue my journey. I managed to complete a 40-day lock-up to celebrate the one-year anniversary of when I first got caged. Six months have passed since we split, and there’s still a little ache left. I still follow her regimen while self-locking, though I find myself thinking about her more often than is healthy. On the positive side, I’ve connected better with my feminine side and am more accepting of both my bisexuality and my submissive nature. Now I’m wondering what the next chapter holds for me.