Chastity in vanilla life discussion

By today I’ll have spent seventeen days under the honour system, with a few short lock-ups mixed in. For the past five days my fiancée, who holds the key, has kept hold of ‘the’ one. (We do have an emergency backup at home, but it’s locked inside an 8-digit safe whose code I don’t know.) When we first started locking up because of some silly (but amusing) conversation, she was quite hesitant and worried about whether I’d get hurt, even though she liked the effect it had on me. We struggled with devices initially, and eventually a spike caused damage. That did it; she decided all play should stop.

About a year later, the topic came up several times, including once in church (of all places, specifically the church rooms) when she was talking rather loudly about being the one who kept my key. (She had always claimed she didn’t need an actual device to be the boss…) Recently, while tidying up and preparing for us to move in together, I found my old stash of chastity devices (most had been thrown out previously) and mentioned them on a shared drive at work. Long story short, I ended up trying them again. Yesterday marked five consecutive days without a break—the longest yet—until one testicle escaped. She’d said recently how much she appreciated me working to her timeframe rather than rushing ahead and doing what I wanted, which seems crucial for our relatively vanilla relationship. If you want her to be the keyholder, she needs to have the power. I wanted to honour and respect her by giving her something deeply personal; in return, I get a sense that she’s with me constantly… plus a kinky intimate secret that binds us closely.

But let’s move on. The other day, out of nowhere, she started messaging about edging. She didn’t use the term ‘edging’, and I don’t even think she knew what it was (then again, she used to read Cosmopolitan when younger…) but mentioned how she’d been dreaming of letting me out of the cage, getting me almost there, and then putting me back in without completion.

A couple of nights ago, I woke up feeling her playing with the cage. She unlocked it, brought me to attention, and it was sooooo goooooooodddddd … … … And then I found myself alone in my own bed, locked, confused, disoriented, realizing I’d dreamt the whole thing:( - I shared this story with her last night. She swears that when we were together recently, and she stroked one nipple while biting the other, it didn’t happen either way—I know I fell asleep afterward—but I don’t know whether to believe her or not. However, she does know exactly where to touch me to make my body fight against the cage. She says she loves how she can make me freeze just by touching my inner thigh. All this from a keyholder who hadn’t heard of locking before, was afraid of what it might do to me, and at first said we should never ever do it again.

Last night she checked me over. She has always been concerned about the size of my cage since it’s very small, but I’m fairly large when erect. She wants everything in good working order for whenever she needs it… After threatening to put me straight back in after a thorough shower, everything was left where it was. I have been regularly attending to her needs, and she has felt less need to reciprocate constantly. I’ve been willing to expand my range of ways to please her, and she’s welcomed it. But last night ‘he’ was fairly much ignored; she was tired and wanted sleep. This morning I was a little frisky and newly free. The 12-year-old was around, so I wore underwear to bed, but my erection nearly pulled them off on its own. For a while she took matters into her hand, but then she needed to get the other up for school at which point she took out a vibrator and placed it down my underwear… It was close, but tantalisingly not enough. Just before I left the house, I showed her the keys and we spoke in code about how she wanted me. The answer was locked.

So my approach to (almost) living with a vanilla keyholder is to take things at her speed. Doing what she wants to do, even if it means giving things a rest for a while. But when she realizes the benefits it can bring both to her needs and your sensitivity, she will likely come around. If you phrase it that you want to play hardcore bondage games with her, she will probably turn you down (unless of course you’ve met someone hardcore already and know what you’re getting into anyway—but that’s not vanilla). However, if you joke about something you’ve heard or dreamt about and say you’d be willing to try it for her sake, she’ll likely take you up on it. I think I bought a cheap device as a cheeky joke, and it spiralled from there.

Now I’m almost convinced that she has been doing her own research and is certainly making her own decisions, claiming ownership of the situation. There were several times in the past where I know she would have stopped to check everything through and look at the options. Now she is much more assertive and will continue as she wants. For instance, this morning she merrily noted how the five-day stint hadn’t damaged my size in any way, so there would be no problem with him going back in again. In the past, she talked about getting me out and seemed reluctant to engage in play. Now she is quick to engage and almost encouraging as I share detail after detail of my dreams and experiences—something which I wasn’t entirely prepared to do… She likes to watch and supervise; previously she used to talk about how it made her hot watching me, now she’s started talking about control too. It’s only just over a couple of weeks until our wedding and moving in together. I wondered if I was going to be allowed to come today but I’m increasingly aware that she might make me wait for the wedding. Two-and-a-bit weeks is already a long time for me; the wedding would stretch it to about a month.

The first three days of locking were fairly fun and settling in well. Day four seemed more real, and I was much hornier. By day five, the cage felt normal again, and I wasn’t sure if it was coming off anytime soon. I kind of wonder what would have happened next had ‘one of the boys’ not escaped. I’m still feeling the effects due to the fortnight or so I’ve been chaste overall.

Anyway, I got home and locked as promised (checking if I could fit the next smallest ring now—which was previously too tight)—but I know she will expect the key back when I see her tonight. Although maybe she might unlock me if I say or do the right thing. She is now a vanilla keyholder who is increasingly in control. I know that if I demanded it (for health and safety reasons), she would unlock me immediately without question. But as time goes by, and she understands more about the devices, my anatomy, and how things work, she knows there’s no immediate permanent danger and no reason for me to demand release. All of which means she’s realized she can have a bit of fun and take control.

I could feel myself nearing the tipping point on day five. Previously I’d been able to think of other things during attempted erections and focus elsewhere. It feels like it won’t be too long before I feel the urge to wrestle the cage off but can’t. I don’t entirely know (yet) what that will be like, though she seems keen to find out. Out of chastity, I can control my body and its responses to touch fairly easily; in it, I flinch or gasp at her slightest touch. I think that’s what she enjoys most: not so much my frustration but the clear desire for her. She is satisfied with all the treats she gets, but what persuaded her more to be a vanilla keyholder was how my locked body yearns for her in a very physical way. The caged part is almost incidental; it’s the way that the rest of the body follows and works together in unison to fulfil its goal … and wha

Is it time for her to begin? A soft hand resting on my inner thigh can open up so many other possibilities. Lately, I find myself gazing blankly ahead, lost in thought about her instead of attending to what I should. My dreams (as mentioned above) are turning increasingly steamy—and she enjoys hearing me describe them (despite my slight embarrassment). I hope to feel her touch there tonight; while she used to always reciprocate, I’m not so certain that will happen this time. Sorry for the post drifting into something resembling a short story, but it feels worth sharing because allowing an ordinary keyholder to take charge can lead somewhere. I don’t know exactly where yet, especially with the wedding approaching, but things are certainly intriguing right now.