A Man's Return to a Submissive State of Mind

“bottoming out” as J describes it takes him completely out of his submissive headspace and at first, also zeroes out his arousal level. So for a few days he doesn’t want to submit to me, and he’s not really driven to have sex and come either. Now, you would think that once his libido returned, J would fall right back in line, but he doesn’t. He just becomes aroused but no more in the mood to submit. As he describes it, it’s like how he was before I became his keyholder. He would live in a state fluctuating from spent to aroused, and when even a little aroused would feel an urge (and entitlement) to have an orgasm. So now in this state, he kind of resents me and regrets making me his keyholder. It’s hard for him to slip back into a submissive headspace. So my question: What great ideas do you all have for getting a man to feel like he wants to be submissive again? What makes a submissive man happy to obey?