Re-trapped once more

We’ve been in a 24/7 chastity lifestyle for three and a half years, with me locked up the majority of that time. Now we’re taking a pause; I just needed some relief, and my wife was exhausted from being my keyholder all this while. Here’s what I discovered: sex wasn’t very enjoyable when I could climax whenever it suited me. I lost interest in massaging her body and feet as much before. I began masturbating again and went weeks without having intercourse with her. The sexual energy started to dwindle, leaving me feeling perpetually bored. Strangely enough, my sleep quality dropped compared to how well I rested while locked up at night.

From my wife’s perspective, it’s a bit more complex. She is bisexual and spent most of our marriage together with a long-term girlfriend. It turns out this girlfriend had harbored feelings for me since childhood, so my wife used intimacy with me as leverage or bait. In short, we shared the same partner for years. My wife isn’t keen on penetration at all and doesn’t love oral sex either. Her go-to way to reach an orgasm is through her vibrator, a preference she maintained even when dating her girlfriend, who also favored vibrators—perhaps that’s why they were such a good match.

With the other woman gone, my wife no longer relies on me for sexual release. She does enjoy it when I kiss her while she uses her device, but deep down I know she is thinking of women rather than me or any man in particular. Don’t misunderstand; she still appreciates men, just the handsome types like I was back in my youth. Now, however, I’m just another chubby guy with a penis that has shrunk and rarely hardens for her anymore. Sex feels tedious again, and she’s getting weary of playing around with me every time I initiate. Weeks pass without any intimacy, and I’ve started watching porn to masturbate once more after years away from it.

Today I told her that I realize she isn’t particularly interested in sex with me right now, so we have two paths forward. One is for us both to simply self-pleasure independently, which many long-time members here do for various reasons. The alternative is returning to long-term chastity where I achieve an orgasm only once every one or two months. This works well for her because she enjoys teasing and denying me, missing having me as her obedient slave whom she can cane when necessary and command to give massages whenever it pleases her. If she wants control over my penis and climaxes again, all she needs to do is return the key to my Jailbird cage.

She handed back the key, promising to be stricter than ever because she missed being the dominant figure in our relationship across most aspects of life. So here we go once more. I’d love to hear from others who took breaks after years of chastity and then resumed it again. What changed during that second stint? Any tips for making it better than before? Did you adapt to longer stretches without climaxing? Did you need to acclimate gradually to wearing the cage, similar to when you first started? Things like that.