Moving Male Chastity and Sadism up a Level

Hello everyone, my wife and i are new to male chastity. She has agreed to lock me up and be my KH, which is awesome. I have been in chastity for about 3 weeks now, and i am ready to try stepping the S&M up a level. I read about all these men on the site who have their KH punish them when they have broken the rules by spanking, ball busting, etc. My wife is somewhat “vanilla” i guess you could say, and she would just call me a freak and tell me no if i try to bring up adding S&M as punishment. I just wanted to know if anyone had any advice on how to slowly ease my KH into administering punishments such as spanking, ball busting, or other forms of physical/mental punishment? Any advice would be greatly appreciated!