Managing Control Dynamics While New to Chastity

My wife and I are relatively new to the world of chastity. Our first attempt ended quickly because the device was too small for me, so it didn’t fit properly. We’ve ordered a custom-fitted replacement that should arrive in a few weeks; I’m feeling both excited and anxious about it.

Initially, my wife had little interest in chastity and wasn’t keen on trying it out myself. After explaining the concept to her further, she surprisingly expressed a desire to give it a go. When she did, I told her that I wanted her to take control over me. She didn’t have much prior experience or drive for this dynamic, so there were plenty of questions from my side while I held back some details to keep up the fantasy—hoping she would naturally start enjoying what I liked without needing explicit instruction (which was perhaps a bit naive).

The domination phase started off well and made me very happy; her efforts were almost too good, which was slightly intimidating. Then one night things went a little sideways. She wasn’t doing quite as expected with her tasks. Don’t get me wrong—I asked for this dynamic, so I didn’t complain or discourage her since she is trying it out for my sake. However, she noticed that I wasn’t fully enjoying myself and got frustrated because if we aren’t having fun, what’s the point? She admitted she isn’t sure exactly what to do with me and suggested I start giving more direction.

For me, this feels like ‘topping from the bottom,’ which is not ideal. But since it’s ultimately about her taking control in a direction she chooses, that works too. My wife seems content just knowing she has permission over my orgasm rather than actively teasing or denying me constantly. That might be why she prefers I tell her what to do; otherwise, she doesn’t want to move far from the idea of simply wearing a chastity cage.

I’m worried now that once the new device arrives and gets put on, it will just sit there forgotten. But we have been working hard on communication, so hopefully, this is something she genuinely wants too.

So, what should I do? Should I continue topping from the bottom and hope she gradually takes more control over time? Or should I explicitly tell her all my preferences and let her decide which ones to act upon? My main goal is for us both to be happy, though I’m not sure of the best path. I’d love your opinions or advice on how we can make this work. I’m having a lot of fun with it and want her involved in that joy. Two more weeks until the cage arrives—I can’t wait!