Chastity and orgasm denial discussion

I am locked continuously. I don’t know about him personally, but occasionally I might get a night off here and there. If chafing occurs, the usual response is 'too bad'.

I have been locked continuously for the past thirteen months so far. My wife doesn't trust me to refrain from masturbating, and she's right about that. I had to get a custom steel cage installed because it shouldn't need removal for cleaning purposes. She feels there is no necessity to take it out since she has little use for it herself and doesn't want me using either. In my view, the majority of men in this lifestyle are indeed locked continuously. If I have to be kept under lock, then everyone should be, not just part-time.

It really depends on the relationship dynamic. My wife controls when and how long I stay locked. Fortunately, she isn't overly strict so that I'm never out of it completely; however, once I am in there for a stretch, I tend to stay put rather than taking night breaks. A month or two at a time is usually the longest duration she keeps me confined, with occasional week-long pauses. Finding the right fit is crucial if you plan extended confinement periods. I've found that applying good lotion several times daily helps significantly in preventing chafing.

I have recently started wearing my MM Jailbird device around the clock. Agreed that a custom-fitted device makes a huge difference. While some people manage with off-the-shelf models, the truth is there's an adjustment period and figuring out what works best to achieve true 24/7 wear. I HIGHLY recommend considering Mature Metal. Reach out to them directly; they will help you determine sizing and requirements. Also, bear in mind that purchasing a device, putting it on, and keeping it for years is mostly fantasy. Going more than just a few days or even a week straight right off the bat is extremely rare because the body needs time to adapt. My advice for newcomers: start with sessions of a few hours. Then move to 24-hour periods. Remove it briefly to allow skin healing from initial friction for a day or two, then return for two days. Repeat this cycle. Progress to three or four-day stretches with breaks in between, then try a full week. After that, aim for two weeks or even a month. Once you reach the one-month mark, you join an exclusive group of achievers. Also keep in mind that most men do get time out periodically for cleaning, shaving, and testing erectile function (though cumin or ruined orgasms are common outcomes). So begin gradually and build up. Seriously consider a custom device as they offer great value despite the higher price tag—and Mature Metal's prices aren't bad relative to what you receive! Perhaps MM will owe me a finder’s fee for all these referrals;-)

> tomf_22033 said: > I've just started to wear my MM Jailbird 24/7. > > Agreed that a custom-fitted device makes a huge difference. While some people manage with off-the-shelf models, the truth is there's an adjustment period and figuring out what works best to achieve true 24/7 wear. > > I HIGHLY recommend considering Mature Metal. Reach out to them directly; they will help you determine sizing and requirements. > > Also, bear in mind that purchasing a device, putting it on, and keeping it for years is mostly fantasy. Going more than just a few days or even a week straight right off the bat is extremely rare because the body needs time to adapt. > > My advice for newcomers: start with sessions of a few hours. Then move to 24-hour periods. Remove it briefly to allow skin healing from initial friction for a day or two, then return for two days. Repeat this cycle. Progress to three or four-day stretches with breaks in between, then try a full week. After that, aim for two weeks or even a month. > > Once you reach the one-month mark, you join an exclusive group of achievers. > > Also keep in mind that most men do get time out periodically for cleaning, shaving, and testing erectile function (though cumin or ruined orgasms are common outcomes) > > So begin gradually and build up. Seriously consider a custom device as they offer great value despite the higher price tag—and Mature Metal's prices aren't bad relative to what you receive! > > Perhaps MM will owe me a finder’s fee for all these referrals;-) Lots of good advice!! I agree that adaptation takes time. Wearing it incrementally helped me adjust. It also took some getting used to sleeping with it on. Now, not having it feels strange.

> wifey7717 said: > My submissive mentioned that many people in this community aren't locked around the clock all day long. This allows for breaks from irritation and other issues, with some men unlocking during work hours or while sleeping. Since I'm just starting out, I want to know how accurate that is. Or is he finding excuses to get out of his cage? There's no way he wouldn't touch himself if left unlocked for any significant duration. Yes, there is definitely some manipulation happening here. He wants to maintain a degree of control and hedge his bets. YOU need to make these decisions, not him. And yes, since he enjoys masturbation, you should be cautious about granting release. > Doczilla421 said: > I have been locked continuously for the past thirteen months so far. My wife doesn't trust me to refrain from masturbating, and she's right about that. Many men here are indeed locked 24/7, but many aren't either. It ultimately depends on your choice. However, for masturbators like Doczilla (and myself), continuous locking is likely the best approach. It isn't just orgasms you need to manage; it’s also controlling erections and our narcissistic tendencies regarding them. > Penney said: > My wife controls when and how long I stay locked. Fortunately, she isn't overly strict so that I'm never out of it completely; however, once I am in there for a stretch, I tend to stay put rather than taking night breaks. Based on what I've read here, this seems like the most common scenario—long-term 24/7 wear interspersed with shorter release periods. > tomf_22033 said: > Also keep in mind that most men do get time out periodically for cleaning, shaving, and testing erectile function (though cumin or ruined orgasms are common outcomes) I totally disagree with my friend Tom regarding this point. Erections won't disappear; everything will continue to function properly. Just ask him: "Do you feel tight in your cage at night? Does morning wood make you horny and constrained?" If the answer is yes, then the mechanics are working perfectly. As for me personally, we moved straight into 24/7 locking as soon as possible. She decided when she wanted to use it, which was usually every couple of weeks. Even during times he was allowed out for erections, she rarely permitted him to ejaculate fully—that full pleasure experience happened only once every two or three months. She allows brief releases a few minutes each week specifically for cleaning and for my weekly long bike ride (30-60+ miles). Recently, after about two years of this routine, she has shifted to "locked from waking until bedtime," sometimes enjoying cuddling with his nocturnal erections.

I'd say that most men doing chastity are not locked 24x7. For the vast majority it's probably a occasional game that doesn't last more than a few hours or days. This site is going to have a higher proportion of 24x7 than is normal. To be clear as far as I'm concerned it's not 24x7 if you can't at least wear continuously for a week. I used to think that longer than a few days was impossible. But over the past year I've had 2 periods that were over 2 months. The longest of which was 82 days. That's continuous wear without removal for any reason whatsoever. So it is possible, but it's not easy. As others have told you getting to that point is not easy at all. It will take time. We started with a Holy Trainer that we'd remove every day for cleaning. Got a Prince Albert Piercing for security. Moved to a Steelheart with a PA fixation. At first we were removing that daily for cleaning, but over time the periods of not removing it increased. Until we got to the point where it was clear the only reason it needed to come off was that my wife wanted it off for some reason. One thing that I've learned along the way is that a good daily lube is critical to getting there. You don't mention what lube you're using. But I've found that using a silicone lubricant works for me (specifically System JO Premium Classic Lubricant). Other folks have different preferences. I've seen people suggest petroleum jelly, baby oil, various skin cremes. You may have to experiment to find what lubricant works best for him. Beyond that it comes down to device fit. You'd have to be very lucky to use an off the shelf device and be able to get up to 24x7. For ball trap devices there are 3 sizing factors that are important. Ring size. This is the size of the ring that goes around the balls and the penis. The general rule of thumb is that this should be tight enough that you can get a finger through up to the first knuckle. When starting out I'd suggest you get multiple rings (even on a custom device). This is the mostly likely place you are to have problems with fit. If you go too small you'll have issues. If you go too big it won't stay on. Note that over time you'll be able to go smaller. Tube diameter. This is the size of the interior of the tube. You want the tube to be as close to his flaccid size as possible. Smaller is generally better. So if in doubt go with a smaller size. Especially if he's a grower. Tube length. This is the length of the interior of the tube. Some manufacturers include the overall length of the device including ring and the spacing between the ring and the tube. So take note of how the manufacturer is measuring this. This you can pretty much go as short as you want. I'd suggest starting with roughly the flaccid length of his penis. Overtime you can decrease this just line the ring size if desired. So with all that said, do I think he's trying to manipulate you? Maybe. It's hard to really say since it's hard to say how much exposure he has to people who really do wear long term. But based on how new you say you are, I don't think straight up going 24x7 is likely to work. I'd suggest you take your time as others have suggested and work up to longer periods. I realize that given your situation that may be disappointing since you're also using chastity to rekindle things. But give it time and you'll have better results. I say that because across my 20 years of off and on doing chastity. I've had many failures where my partner and I have just given up and quit doing chastity for a while. Largely because we tried to rush things.

It took us years to get to where I am now, and even that is "mostly" 24/7. We finally found a cage I can sleep in, but it's not one I can pee in, so the cap has to come off for me to pee. It comes off for cleaning/shaving, and it comes off for doctors/sports/motorcycle. I wear a symbolic stainless ring behind the glans when I'm un-caged. I've had sporadic reactions to the metal in my cage now and then, and had to un-lock. A big thing with us though, is we spent years training me out of wanting masturbation, orgasm, selfish pleasures, and being un-locked. In the early years, chastity was short term, and led to infrequent, but mind blowing orgasms. 12 years later and I don't like being un-locked, and would not masturbate or penetrate if I had the chance. It's not as 24/7 as many here manage, but at the same time, mentally, I am fully chaste and denied, regardless. This did not happen overnight by any stretch. It takes a good long time for a chastity cage to go from being a hot sex toy, to a hot state of being, to eventually become ritual and routine. Finding the right cage or cages is key. For a long time, I had a cage that was great around the house and work, but a different one for wearing under jeans, and a different one again for when my wife and I would have sex. Patience and practice!

Im locked 247 now and are only unlocked when my lady wants to use or tease her property. And i love it.

It does seem that there are as many variations on lock-up as their are men pursuing chastity:). On a forum like this you have a self-selection of more serious folks, so more will be 24/7. I've been 24/7 pretty much from day 1. I was very fortunate that the HolyTrainer I started with is a very good fit. I have some chafing problems now and then, especially after a night with especially frequent nocturnal erections, or after being very teased without O. But lube or lotion minimizes the discomfort, and the chafing also seems less frequent and less intent the longer I go (about 3 months now). My KH lets me out weekly for cleaning, shaving and play (usually PIV, not always with an O for me tho). This past Sunday she thought my skin looked a bit prunish so she made me stay unlocked for about 6 hours to give it air. But other than those short hygiene and play breaks, it's 24x7. The two main factors I've noticed in forum discussions are strength of desire to submit to orgasm control, and physical comfort / fit issues with the device.