Journals and blogs discussion

I’ve been reflecting lately on how much has shifted over the past eighteen months. My mindset has evolved in a way that feels incredibly reassuring. Reading through other people’s stories, I often find myself wondering about the path we took here. I know how it happened, but I’m still figuring out exactly what changed.

To give you some background: back in 2012, after shedding seventy pounds, my sweetheart—who I’ve been with since we were fifteen—started feeling uneasy about how my appearance had transformed and didn’t like other women gazing at me. It never really crossed my mind because I wasn’t paying attention to them, but she was bothered by it. Our sex life has always been good, and we’re happy together. Having been a couple since 1976, our relationship lasts longer than most people’s.

While browsing a website for a new wand, I stumbled across chastity devices. I hadn’t really considered them before, nor did I know the world that would open up to me from then on—yes, all of you here.

I remember hearing not to give a device as a birthday present; yes, @Nicoftime, I didn’t know that rule back then. But this time was different. I just wanted to prove to her that she already held the key to my heart, so why not have control over everything else? Like nearly everyone else, I bought a CB6000 for my first try. It wasn’t easy getting it right because staying locked overnight was almost impossible; I spent most of the time nude.

I made it to her birthday and we went out for dinner that evening. Afterward, as we chatted, I handed her a card containing the keys inside. The note repeated what I’d said before: I wanted to show her she had control over my heart, so why not everything else? She paused slightly, looking a bit puzzled, and asked, “Is this for something you’re wearing?” “Yes,” I replied.

She’s always up for trying new things. So, if you aren’t comfortable with public displays or sudden changes at home, others might advise caution—I agree with @Nicoftime on that point. For us, it was no big deal; we headed home and enjoyed ourselves.

As I mentioned earlier, chastity wasn’t really in my fantasies before. When I first got the device, it gave me a nice thrill, and she loved teasing me, but there wasn’t any real denial or long-term commitment yet. I kept the key and cleaned up daily to keep her happy. This setup lasted until spring 2017.

Looking back now, I can see subtle changes occurring while life moved forward; day-to-day routines often hide these shifts. Her libido started climbing, though at first, I thought she just liked me (lol). We tried several different devices to find one easier to maintain hygiene-wise. In May, while waiting for dinner to start by the grill, I was browsing full belts on my phone. I got home around 2 pm; she returned about 6:30 pm.

I happened to be looking at the Behind Barz website when I started cooking. I didn’t go back to check it later. When she arrived, I began grilling steaks while she sat down at my computer with a Mike’s lemonade, waiting for me of course. Naturally, as soon as the screen woke up, the site was still there.

We ate dinner and did our usual routine: sharing how each day went. Toward the end, she asked if I expected her to have noticed what was on my computer. “You can always look,” I said. “I don’t hide anything from you.” She wondered what it was all about; I replied, just killing time.

She smiled, and we talked as usual. But I think that’s when her perspective began shifting. About a week later, she asked me what the benefits of full belts were. I explained what I’d read online, which brought CM into view for us. She encouraged me to explore other options available out there.

I laughed and said, “You know they aren’t cheap.” She replied, “The boys are grown now; we’re alone at home.” That response surprised me a bit because I could see she had genuine interest in the devices. Eventually, it came down to Neosteel and Behind Barz. I dug into reviews, noting that several were hosted on the CM website. I hadn’t looked much further past those reviews to see what else might await me (ha ha).

She preferred the Behind Barz belts. I still wasn’t entirely sure why she wanted one since we didn’t think it was strictly necessary. Little did I know, something significant lay behind door #2.

On July 4th, fireworks erupted in our bedroom. We were tangled up together when she said, “I’d like to get you one of those belts.” I wasn’t sure why because she usually doesn’t want to spend nearly $900 just for fun. She told me I would look great wearing it. “OK,” I said, hoping everything works out. “I really hope so too,” she added.

That’s where my curiosity peaked. We ordered it together, and seeing her happiness left me slightly puzzled by her enthusiasm.

I have to admit, it did cause a stir in me. While we waited for delivery, she was fascinatingly different. Her teasing reached a new level; she talked more verbally about the idea of me being locked up and seemed genuinely excited—very wet indeed.

The belt arrived on August 11th, just before our vacation. Wearing it for the first time was an experience in itself. It felt awesome, and her expression was unbelievable. Of course, adjustments were needed. I said size 34; she insisted on 36. Turns out, I was right—it started too big. We bent it to fit 34, which worked pretty well.

I’m not one for waiting around, so I wore it overnight and didn’t do badly at all. It felt a bit strange in the morning but manageable. Over the weekend, I kept up my usual exercise routine—I walk and run to maintain my weight loss since losing those pounds. Running was no problem, though the next day I developed some minor abrasion under the ring.

I took it off for a couple of days to let it heal and decided the ring size was too small. I had been using a 45 mm ring with the ball trap, so I replaced it with another one. There isn’t much space between the tube and the ring. After putting it back on and applying silicone lube, everything worked fine except for running. So I stuck to walking and ordered a larger 50 mm ring.

I had a full week of wear before vacation: work, play, and home life. With minor tweaks, it fit very well—perhaps too well off.

Off we went to Maine. She asked me to remove the belt for the trip since the drive is about eight hours long. This is where things got interesting.

I love night driving, so we left at midnight. I drove while she slept—it’s great company (lol). We arrived around 7:30 am; check-in isn’t until noon.

We took a ride to Eastport for food, then headed back and checked in. After unloading the car, as usual, I went shopping while she napped—sleeping in the car is exhausting. When I returned from my errands, it seemed like she hadn’t moved at all. Around 5 pm, the queen finally woke up.

I was peeling carrots for supper when she called me over and gave me a big hug, asking me to retrieve the belt. “Why?” I asked. She just looked at me meaningfully.

I put it on, and for the first time, she locked it. Slowly and deliberately, her expression showed one of excitement and resolve. She took both keys, and my skin broke out in serious goosebumps. It felt like standing there forever trying to process what had just occurred. She simply smiled.

“That’s better,” she said. “Don’t you think?” “OK then.” I went back to preparing dinner.

The cottage is mostly one room plus the bathroom, with the bed directly across from the kitchen area. I cleaned potatoes for baking and fired up the grill we brought along. Then I returned inside to make a light lemon-oil dressing for the swordfish and put the carrots on to steam.

All this time, she was reading her magazine, glancing at me occasionally. She was definitely turning me on, and I think she was stimulating herself as well.

She asked about the time; it would be another thirty minutes before dinner. Then she said she wanted me to do something for her.

So I went over to her side. She slipped off her shorts, grabbed my head—and use your imagination—I’m getting a little tight writing this now. After ten minutes or so, she let go, pulled her shorts back up, and said, “What are you waiting for? Get the fish on.”

Who stole my wife?

something for Her and no kiss to show it. She remained so calm I couldn’t tell what had just transpired. It marked the start of our next phase. She kept me locked up during the entire trip. Upon returning, she secured the spare key onto the headboard spindle where it has stayed ever since. Her words were “I wanted to see how much you crave being entirely mine.” That happened on New Years day . It was also when I finally got my belt off and experienced a true full orgasm for the first time. Never in my wildest dreams would I have guessed She could do this. Now, once weekly we remove the belt for grooming checks where she is always present. This allows me to edge and practice RO with the tube out. She takes what she wants when she wants it, and occasionally enjoys putting on a display. From New years day in May 24 th (our Anniversary) through Oct 13 th (my birthday). That sums up my situation. Well, reading this brings back those memories and emotions. How did She transform so much? Perhaps the internet played a role. But I believe it’s something within her. It has revealed to me someone I didn’t realize was present all along. And for me, embracing denial like this while loving Her more deeply, discovering new ways together, allowing Her voice and just letting go into freedom. No one will ever fully answer the how or why. I joined CM shortly after my awakening in August 2017. You have all guided me well. I simply wanted to share my tale since many of you possess far more captivating narratives. Yes, @Mash2214 deserves a mention—I’ll just say WOW. To @Nicoftime, who always seems like Mister balance. And @Breathe is such a lovely expressive woman reminiscent of my beloved partner. Thank you all to my dear friend @El Guapo as well. I feel quite settled and truly content to be among you all. Updates will follow when they arise.:+1: