Chastity in vanilla life discussion

Greetings everyone, I joined this community a while back. I come and go, looking for tips on bringing chastity games or the lifestyle into my marriage with my sweet (vanilla) wife. Things are moving at a gentle pace because I don’t overwhelm her with too much info all at once. I don’t have any equipment yet, but I’ve put myself under an honor system without her realizing it. I avoid giving her books and links to this or other sites. Instead, here is what I’ve brought up so far:

• She should tell me whether I’m allowed to ejaculate.
• I enjoy being teased.
• There was a day when I had sex with her twice without cumming.
• A few months back, I told her that my cock belongs to her. When she said this last time, she asked if she ought to put a lock on it. That caught me off guard and left me speechless for a moment. Now, looking back, I feel foolish for not giving a clear answer earlier, which might have hastened the process. I’m still unsure whether she actually knows about these devices or was just making light of it innocently. Hesitant to bring it up again. Generally speaking, neither of us is particularly skilled at communicating when sex is involved. So I know we need to improve that aspect. In bed, our talks usually revolve around the children, household projects, or work issues and so on. It’s difficult to slip in a sexual subject amidst all that. But it does happen occasionally. Still, I want to be better prepared when it arises again. That’s why I’m hoping for some solid advice. I’m really after that sense of anticipation and teasing, which helps me focus more on her satisfaction (which ultimately gives me pleasure too). Yes: this might sound a bit like topping from the bottom, with me chasing my own gratification. But I do notice how affectionate I feel towards her when she denies me (after sex, not just our usual vanilla denial). I then keep cuddling her close, which I really enjoy. The question is how to help her see the benefits and potential advantages for herself too. And how to get her into a routine of daily or twice-daily teasing that encourages me to please her more (handling chores, giving back rubs, foot massages, bringing flowers, paying attention etc.). Usually, she’s the type who believes all these things are normal expectations regardless of whether she denies me or not. When we do have sex, she likes it when I cum and feels a bit sorry for me if I can’t. Hope someone here has some practical suggestions. Best regards, Ivanhoe.