Guides on Persuading Your Partner To Hold The Key

If you are relatively new to chastity or struggling to get your partner to hold the key, my best advice is patience.

During our first year together, my fiancée wasn’t very keen on being my key holder. I usually had to lock myself up and hand her the key, which she would often just leave lying around on the coffee table or toss into her purse. When she unlocked me for sex, she rarely put the cage back on; I always had to do it myself. Essentially, I acted as my own coach during that first year.

It was all about establishing a routine. Every day she saw me wearing the cage and felt it against her when we hugged. I never took it off unless she wanted sex. At first, she would offer for me to have an orgasm, but I had to remind her that I am only supposed to get one per week. Eventually, she stopped offering, though if I asked or begged, she often gave in. After a while, I convinced her to limit my orgasms to once a month, although she still felt bad and didn’t always enforce the denial strictly.

Little by little, it became normal. One day, I forgot to put the cage back on after sex, and the next day she noticed. It clicked for her that she was so used to me being locked up without putting in excessive effort or really wanting to do much, yet not bothering or pushing her. I just did it independently and let it become part of our life. Now, if I don’t have the cage on, it seems abnormal. For me to orgasm more than once a month is also unusual. Naturally, she saw the positive changes in our relationship as my denial continued.

About a year and a half into this process, she finally took complete control independently. I am always locked up; the device only comes off when she wants sex. She started asserting her authority and fully utilizing her power. She enjoyed physically tormenting me because I’m a masochist and she has sadistic tendencies, which grew throughout our journey. In the last six months, she took all the knowledge, experience, and fantasies I shared with her and pushed them even further than I imagined. Now she has total control.

My previous record was 66 days of denial. It is now very clear to me that the soonest I will have an orgasm again is in one year (which started 76 days ago). What excites and slightly scares me is her clarity regarding my physical satisfaction: she doesn’t care at all about it. This works well for a masochist like me because she no longer wants any sexual stimulation on my penis. She prefers the anal aspect, but says that if she can ignore my orgasm needs for three months, ignoring them for a year should be easy—and why would she care after a year? Even though I might get one eventually, it seems clear I won’t have many more.

To conclude: in the first year, I had to beg and plead for simple things. But I established standards that grew on her gradually, staying patient because of my love for her. It took over a year, but now she has not only met but exceeded all my expectations. So far, no regrets (LOL), though I might be teetering on the edge!:)