Mature Metal discussion

The jailbird fits me perfectly. On my first try, I went with the medium spiked punishment pin. It’s unnoticeable when flaccid but causes sharp pain when erect; it leaves purple marks on the skin without actually breaking it. My wife wanted to have choices, so she picked out a long criss cross pin. Her perspective: because it is longer and scratches the skin more, it delivers the most pain. My perspective: while it does scratch, there’s a risk that I might not be able to use either pins or the jailbird at all if healing becomes an issue. If she wants me locked up permanently, the criss cross isn’t ideal. She believes a large criss cross hurts more than a medium spike. However, I think if her goal is maximizing pain, the large spike wins out. The large criss cross might actually be less painful than that medium spike. Who has it right? This isn’t about power dynamics or obedience; it’s purely about decision making.