A Single Year of Waiting

I have reached an orgasm. This is the lowest number of orgasms I’ve had in such a continuous period at any time during my life. My girlfriend has me locked inside a JB. The router settings block almost all porn from being seen. I have handed over complete control of my orgasms to her, and now it’s no longer just about my cock. I read a story in the fiction section regarding a guy whose wife altered their agreement so that he never gets an orgasm again… ever. Why does that sound incredibly hot yet amazingly frustrating at the same time? I think if I seriously proposed it to my girlfriend she would likely accept. That’s scary for someone who has averaged close to two orgasms a day over the past 20 years. I feel like I have had enough orgasm moments in my life. I should focus on her pleasure and hers only now. I just don’t know if I can give them up completely. I am locked for the foreseeable future. She lets me out to play but I don’t get to cum. I might be allowed to cum at the end of the month, though she has made no guarantee. Does anyone else feel like they never deserve to cum again?