- Posts
- 1
- Joined
- Jan 1970
Hello everyone,
I’m a new keyholder and I’m having quite the battle with the emotional side of keeping my man denied. It’s harder than I ever imagined! Let me give you some context to help: we met about six months ago, early in our relationship, when he shared his “kinky” interests. Besides Chastity, there are several other fetishes involved. Back then, I was a vanilla girl, but he has opened up so many new worlds for me.
We experimented with chastity for a few days initially; I denied him and it felt amazing—I felt powerful, sexy, and highly aroused. He clearly loved the physical sensation, the mental dynamic, and my willingness to do it for his sake. About a month later, I kept him locked for a full week. During that time, I “freaked” out a bit; I felt selfish and under huge pressure to please and tease him properly.
We paused then, and he reassured me everything was okay—that this is all new ground for me, that communication is key, and he fully understands. Last week, feeling ready, I locked him up again, but now the emotions are hitting hard once more. Through reading and research, I know I should feel fantastic: turned on, in control, powerful, and dominant. But instead, I feel insecure, like I’m failing him by not being this all-powerful Domme.
Last night was a prime example. I was exhausted and didn’t want sex at all, though he was extremely horny. He said nothing to make me uncomfortable, so we went to bed without it. This morning, I felt rotten, as if I’ve let him down again. Last night’s event is still weighing on my mind; while the exhaustion kept my desire low, I felt a pressure to do some teasing or denial anyway—and that self-imposed pressure only made me less inclined.
Our sexual relationship has always been fantastic, and I truly want this for him and for us so we can both enjoy it. My fear is that if I don’t get past these emotions, they will negatively affect our sex life in the long run.
Has anyone else gone through this? Any advice would be greatly appreciated. x