Journals and blogs discussion

Figured it might be time to start a journal, rather than peicemeal posts here and there in the forums, so I’ll go back and try to re-capture the last roughly 2 years or so, and explain the what and why’s of how I ended up where I am today. A little background first, though. I was raised on a ranch, always had set chores and responsabilities, but other than those I had a lot of freedom. Growing up I was generally the “good kid”, helped out, somewhat timid, and tended to be the one that tried to smooth everything over in the family. After graduating High school, I joined the military as there were very few good job options in the area where I lived, and made a pretty decent career out of it spanning over 26 years. During this time I grew into a vvery strong leader, very versed in the planning and execution of things, used to having my decisions followed with full support from my superiors. Basically, I grew to be a true Alpha male, demanding, decisive, and controlling. After retiring from the military, and spending more time home with the family, things weren’t going quite as well anymore. Arguements, stress, etc., became the order of the day, and with them came an uncomfortable distancing from my wife that threatened to tear apart our marriage. I needed excitement, adrenaline, the feeling of power and control, and was not beiing the best husband, she became sullen, unhappy, and began to worry I would leave her for soem new conquest. During this time we experimented with 3-somes, and evenually joined a “social group” of likeminded people (swingers). Then, about 3 years ago (god, has it been that long?) I was surfing the web, adn found a mention of Male chastity and Birdlocked’s information. Without telling the wife, I ordered 2 devices from Birdlocked, and after receiving them, began a “test run” to see if it was something I could wear for more than just a short period. I wore them during the day, at work, for a week or so before bring up the subject with the wife, and her reaction was not too bad.