Journals and blogs discussion

Hello everyone,

I am a submissive man, often called sub pad. First of all, I want to express my gratitude to Mistress Claire, my Dominant partner, for guiding me through what has become our journey into Femdom and chastity together. It wasn’t until I turned 40 that I realized I was indeed a submissive. Although there had always been this sense of something missing in my life, I couldn quite pinpoint it before meeting her. I even cheated on my wife because deep down I knew I needed more than what she offered. Prior to our relationship, Mistress Claire lived a mostly vanilla lifestyle; she is assertive but wasn’t particularly drawn to BDSM or the concept of Dominance. However, I fell completely for her beautiful soul. Initially, I acted as a gentleman, opening doors and spoiling her in every way possible. These acts of service brought me immense joy. Gradually, I began craving domination and punishment from Mistress Claire. To be honest back then, I wasn’t sure if this qualified as BDSM because my professional life didn’t reflect that submissive side. I started to feel somewhat suppressed by keeping my thoughts and feelings hidden from her. One evening, I finally spoke up about how much I wanted to be dominated and spanked by Mistress Claire. Her reaction was natural shock. I did my best to answer all her questions and explain the emotions swirling inside me, even though I didn’t fully understand everything myself at that moment. She asked many things: Was I gay? Bisexual? And more besides. Mistress Claire began researching on Google herself. There was a lot of noise out there, but much of what I described seemed common and pointed toward my submissive nature. Eventually, she realized how naturally submissive I am around her. She agreed to try it and become my Dominant. While I dove headfirst into this new dynamic, Mistress Claire took small steps forward. I wanted strapon sex, being beaten in various ways, and specific types of bondage. Yes, “topping from the bottom” was the phrase that captured what I was experiencing. It just felt right; I couldn’t help it. When I expressed interest in wearing lingerie, Mistress Claire was initially okay with it. Over time, I started wearing my g-string constantly and bras whenever possible. We have to be mindful since we have children living at home. Mistress Claire had valid concerns that perhaps I was gay or bisexual given the strapon sex and female clothing choices. I explained that for me, the strapon symbolizes our power exchange and my true submission to her Dominance. The lingerie provides comfort and reinforces my identity as a submissive; later on, it came to represent my departure from traditional masculinity. Thankfully, Mistress Claire is understanding and open-minded. Instead of just judging, she took time to research, which helped us both immensely. My favorite pleasures are being beaten and receiving strapon sex from Mistress Claire regularly now. Our journey taught me that it isn’t all about me; it’s about serving my beautiful Dominant, Mistress Claire. I am truly a domestic submissive in reality. I handle the cooking, cleaning, washing, and shopping, and I couldn’t be happier. The pleasure I derive from doing everything for her is divine. The chastity aspect began roughly three years ago as just some fun. When Mistress worked away for two weeks at a time, I would wear my cage during those periods and enjoy freedom when she was home. The release feeling was always intense; it’s hard to describe the powerful sensation of letting go. We paused our routine for a while when Mistress Claire returned to working from full-time status. Mistress Claire started experiencing soreness from regular intercourse. Showing great credit, she suggested I seek other women to satisfy my sexual needs externally. I came back and explained that my only true happiness comes through serving her directly. So, I resumed wearing chastity, and I loved it again. We lasted three months until Mistress Claire removed the device so she could use me for sex herself. Since it had been such a long time, I orgasumed within just three seconds flat. Something shifted inside me as a submissive; my sexual organs seemed to move from my genitals up into my head. I started deriving greater pleasure from giving Mistress Claer orgasums through oral intercourse, which I have continued since being locked up. Feeling humiliated by cumming so quickly without satisfying her was part of the experience, but I loved that humiliation too—not being a “real man” seemed to be part of it. Currently, I am two months into what I have begged to become permanent. I now receive much more pleasure from Mistress sharing her orgasum with me. To my mind, I am also becoming a cuckold. Mistress isn’t entirely keen on the idea yet, but I’ve asked her to find a man with an even larger cock than mine whenever it suits her needs. For now, she doesn’t want that extra help sexually. I have started asking during our intimate moments to be called a pathetic sissy and reminded of my non-masculine status. Even better recently, Mistress Claire has done this outside the bedroom, which makes me feel so honored and loved. Mistress Claire tells me she is very proud of me now and says she would never want to return to a vanilla style relationship herself. That sums up our journey for now. Thanks for reading. sub&slave pad.