Journals and blogs discussion

Hello everyone. I’ve been a member here for several years, but it’s been quite some time since I last contributed something substantial beyond the occasional link. If you look through my older threads, you’ll notice that I was in a long-term relationship with someone who had little interest in my kinks, yet indulged me occasionally because she loved me. Deep down, though, I felt sexually and psychologically unfulfilled, always hoping she would eventually come around to it. That never quite happened. Other issues arose too, and during our last year together, we drifted apart as partners and lovers, becoming more like housemates than a couple. Eventually, just over a year ago, we split up. It was amicable, which I appreciate greatly; the fact that we remain close friends means the world to me. Near the end of our relationship, my partner casually mentioned there was a ‘massage parlour’ in our nearby village, located above some shops. We used to sit in the cafe/bar opposite and watch customers come and go. Since our sex life had dried up partly due to her medication lowering her libido, she jokingly suggested I pay it a visit. We joked about this regularly, and although I still loved her deeply and wouldn’t have considered going while we were together, it remained an option in my mind if things continued to decline. Now that I am free of ties and living in a new flat nearby (within walking distance), I finally visited last summer. I met a stunning blonde German woman in her 20s with an incredible figure. We had wonderful vanilla sex, which felt amazing after more than a year without it. However, as lovely as she was, she wasn’t my first choice. I’d noticed a beautiful Danish girl on their website who did various kinky things and intended to see her. Unfortunately, just after I secured the funds and booked time off work, she happened not to be working that week, which is why I ended up with the German. After the usual dreary British winter, Christmas stress, and the bleakness New Year can bring for singles, I decided it was time to return to the parlour. This time, I finally met my Danish Goddess. I wasn’t disappointed. The experience with the German girl had been good but felt very much like a business transaction, lacking genuine rapport. The sex was great, yet somewhat distant; we didn’t even really kiss properly. This time was entirely different. I felt completely at ease with my Danish Goddess almost instantly. Our conversation before any physical contact began was as important to me as the sexual part that followed. Although I wanted vanilla sex for our first encounter, I keenly asked about her dominant tendencies and confessed my chastity fetish, asking if she would indulge it. Her broad grin when she said yes showed she genuinely enjoyed being in charge. From then on, she was very much in control, albeit subtly and understatedly. Combined with her distinct humor and personality, this made me feel incredible, as though I were receiving therapy along with the pleasure. Finally free to discuss my fetish with someone experienced who loved the dominant role, I felt a massive sense of liberation and excitement. About five minutes into our chat, she casually offered to be my keyholder—a service she wouldn’t charge extra for, although teasing texts and pictures while locked would cost more. She exuded a primal sexual energy that drove me wild as she grinned and reminisced about keeping other ‘dirty boys’ locked before. When I recovered from being speechless, I hesitated slightly, unsure if I was ready primarily because I only own CB6000 and CB6000s models. I know these are impractical for more than a few days regarding both comfort and hygiene. There was also fear; I imagined her disappearing with my key, but she reassured me that wasn’t likely. If I overcame my embarrassment to report it, say to the police, I could cause trouble for her. Besides, she liked working there and had no plans to leave. I’d considered online keyholders before, which in some cases pose similar risks without the bonus of real physical interaction with such a gorgeous creature (I don’t mean to put down anyone who uses an online keyholder). She also spoke with great authority and intelligence about communication, consent, and boundaries, making me feel very safe and comfortable. Before she even started licking my shaved balls and getting me hard for some mind-blowing sex, we had already decided that once I got a ‘real’ device (I’m currently saving up for a Mature Metal one) which allows longer wear than just a few days, I would happily surrender my key to my Goddess. I left that day walking on air, knowing I wouldn’t be long before returning. We agreed I’d wear my CB6000s for the next session, involving bondage and lots of teasing. This happened last Sunday and was even more mind-blowing. My Goddess entered the room full of smiles, greeting me with a lovely kiss. After some general chat, I told her what I wanted from the session. Soon enough, I was secured to the bed while she said she’d get tea, leaving me giggling at her cheeky wink, tied up and locked in front of the porn playing on the wall-mounted TV. A few minutes later, cheerful female voices chatted and giggled as my Goddess called out ‘Come and have a look.’ I was shocked when another gorgeous young lady entered, dressed in sexy lingerie with an amazing figure. She seemed quite young and shy; her Mistress introduced her as ‘my apprentice’. It turned out she hadn’t been there long and was being shown the ropes. She appeared unfamiliar with male chastity devices but became very interested and amused as my Goddess explained everything. Soon she was playing with the cage and tickling my balls while my Goddess played with my nipples. Next thing, they started kissing and feeling each other’s breasts. I’d never experienced anything like it; it felt like my eyes were popping out! Shortly after, a third girl appeared at the foot of the bed, having just wandered in to see what was happening. Now I had three beautiful women looking at me and talking about me as if I were merely an object, giggling and having fun. I was forbidden from speaking unless spoken to and had to address all the ladies as ‘Mistress’ when they asked questions. The sense of erotic humiliation was very strong. My Goddess took my breath away again after the other two departed. I confessed that I’d hardly stopped thinking about her since my last visit and was extremely excited by the idea that she would still have lots of sex even when I’m finally locked in a secure device with her holding the key. She nodded slowly and seductively, smiling broadly. Then, giggling, she dropped the bombshell:

“I’ll make you watch.”

OH MY GOD. Was this really happening? It was more than I had hoped for. I thought she might possibly agree to call me at an arranged time so I could listen to her having sex, but watching never even crossed my mind as an option. The average customer probably wouldn’t be up for it. However, she explained that she knows a ‘stud,’ an ex-male escort whom she calls in on occasions like this. It costs a little extra, but she’s done it plenty of times before and seemed no big deal to her; indeed, it was clear she would enjoy it. After

an amazing teasing session that concluded with me blindfolded while my Goddess sat securely on my face. I was eagerly pleasing her as she ground her hips and made happy sounds. It felt like dying and going to heaven when she skillfully unlocked and removed the CB cage, then started edging me expertly without any touch until my cock quivered helplessly and erupted in a mind-blowing orgasm.

That’s where I am at. Even though some old-fashioned feelings are still lingering (Catholic guilt… ha! The idea that this is still a niche interest most people would find strange, the notion of a middle-aged man paying half his age to do this instead of being an alpha and getting a ‘normal’ girlfriend), I have to admit I feel happier and more alive than I have in years.

I’ve finally found a Mistress! A Goddess whom I worship. I’ve already started thinking of her that way, even though we’ve only met twice and it might be some time before I’m properly locked for her. It’s incredibly thrilling to consider what has already happened and, more importantly, what will happen in the coming months.

I’m very fortunate to confide in both my Sister (who turned out to be dominant; Mother owes us an explanation!..:-D ) and my best friend. Fortunately, neither judges me at all and is happy that I am following my instinct to become my true self.

I don’t know if I’m ‘getting it out of my system’ before ‘settling down’, or if this is the beginning of a new journey, though I rather suspect it’s the latter.

I now have a Fetlife profile (my username is ‘slave-id’) and would love to connect with any Mansion members who are there. It can seem daunting and lonely at first, but I’ll wrap up this mammoth post now, sorry for rambling on.

I hope this thread becomes a journal where I can report my future experiences with my Goddess and hopefully learn more about myself as I travel this path. Thanks for reading…