Introductions discussion

Hello all,

I’ve been a member for about a month, but I’m only just carving out the time to say hello. Apologies for keeping everyone waiting.

As my profile indicates, I am a married man of forty who is relatively new to the world of Chastity. Simone holds the Key as my wife.

After eighteen years of marriage, it has taken me this long to muster up the guts to talk openly with my spouse about our kinkier side. People often wonder why it took so long, and I won’t pretend I have a perfect answer for that. Recently, after enduring several years of heavy depression brought on by realizing how childhood events shaped me, I am finally beginning to accept and welcome who I truly am and what life holds for me.

Simone grew up quite conservatively, so the concept of embracing Chastity and cultivating a Female Led Relationship is a huge learning curve for her. Fortunately, she is open to it. I feel very lucky in this regard. While I believe she has what it takes to be an excellent Mistress, I prefer to let her guide that journey without putting too much pressure on us or risking our current harmony.

I have always known my kinks were there. I possess a strong urge to explore and discover where my boundaries lie, then push past them to find new adventures.

Although people often see me as a leader in daily life—at work, at home, and socially—I am naturally submissive. The last few weeks of exploring that side have been thrilling yet sometimes frustrating, but largely positive overall.

The tight fit of my Chastity device is a lovely contradiction on its own. Although I haven’t fully explored CBT yet, I’ve had several genital piercings and found the experience to be quite an adrenaline rush. It wasn’t purely pleasurable, nor was it something I’d want to avoid forever. It’s difficult to put into words, but I find a sense of comfort and purification in the pain.

I have been wearing my Birdlocked PA on and off (mostly on) for the last month. I’ve stopped using the extra locking wire because I noticed it was tugging at my PA piercing. This went beyond mere discomfort; it began to affect the stability of the piercings themselves. While having that extra security helps psychologically, I don’t want to risk the physical piercings since they are a permanent part of me and something I never wish to lose—honestly, I’d be lost without them. The psychological benefit is nice, but given that I’m unlikely to try escaping my device anyway, it feels like an unnecessary extra.

Wearing the Birdlocked device is incredibly comfortable for me. Its constant presence reminds me of my identity, my devotion to Simone, and the commitment we’ve made. The design and materials are top-notch, and I haven’t found any flaws in wearing it for long stretches.

The only hiccup (if that’s the right word) with the Birdlocked is actually getting it on. Many forums, including our own community, have many posts discussing this exact issue, so I’m confident we share this frustration. After lots of testing, some tantrums and tears, I’ve found a method that works for me:

1. First, don’t use any lube yet until both testicles and the penis are securely inside the ring. Honestly, pretend lube doesn’t exist at this stage.
2. Make sure your testicles are warm and hanging low enough to move easily. Don’t attempt this if you’re chilly.
3. Hold the device so that the lower point of the ring (the triangle) points up toward your navel.
4. If you’re right-handed, push your left testicle through first and hold it with your left hand. This frees up your dominant right hand to maneuver the right testicle through. (Left-handers should reverse this.)
5. Push your penis through the ring once both testicles are in place and held firmly by your left hand. If you have a PA piercing, use that as an anchor point; things will get very tight from here.
6. Once everything is through the ring, pull as much of your manhood forward as possible, pressing the ring hard against the pubic area.
7. Using just a small amount of lube on your fingertip, coat the inside (the space between skin and ring) all around. Make sure the entire inner surface is lubricated but don’t overdo it.
8. Twist the device so that the sheath moves from below your testicles to above your penis.
9. Add a little more lube to the tip and shaft of the penis, then slide it into the sheath. Due to all the fiddling you’ve done in the last ten minutes or so, your erection might have subsided by now—wait for that if needed.
10. Once the penis is fully inside the sheath, attach the locking strap and pin, readying yourself for presentation to your Key holder.

As I mentioned at the beginning, this method works well for me, but it may not suit everyone perfectly. I’m not claiming expertise here, but I do understand the frustration others feel when dealing with these devices. Hopefully, this guide helps you out.

Anyway, that’s enough from me! I look forward to meeting new people and sharing our experiences where possible.