Female led relationships discussion

My wife recently underwent surgery, which meant I spent four weeks locked up while handling all the household chores and kid duties. Last week, she turned to me and said, “you deserve some play time.” That moment made it clear that for the entire month, I had been in a state of service and submission without complaining, without any chastity-related chatter, and without constantly strategizing how to get sexual or non-sexual attention. There was no backtalk (though I still challenge her when it benefits her), and I worked hard to meet her expectations for our home and relationship. To be fair, I was extremely horny, but out of a sense of service, I channeled that energy into pleasing her. Occasionally, when my position started feeling uncertain, I’d grab a pair of panties to help refocus my mind. (In any other period of my life, doing so would have required some force).

A year ago, I entered chastity to stop my sexual energy from being directed inward and to spark up our sex life after it had slumped for ten years. After having three children, I found it easier and more natural to live within my own fantasy and sexuality rather than pursuing her. My view of chastity back then was quite different. The things I didn’t do this past month were actually pretty common, as well as the practice of topping from the bottom. At that time, I had many requests and numerous fantasies about what our version of chastity should be, with a long list of desires and kinks. Did I ever imagine chastity would place me in total service (and often submission)? No, not really. Did I know it would improve our sex and communication? Not initially, but it has turned out to be the best period in our marriage. Did I realize that before chastity, I was actually a somewhat selfish husband who thought giving what I wanted counted as service? Yes, I missed that point.

I feel fortunate that chastity works for us as a tool. It took about a year for our dynamic to mature and for my role in service/submission to become second nature. We also had to unlearn many of the bad habits I carried from being a husband, partner, and father. My wife has responded with increased dominance, kinkiness, and a stronger assertion of her wants and desires. She no longer wishes for me to be unlocked and expects it to remain part of our marriage. What used to feel like endless seven-day cycles in the cage have now stretched out to sometimes three or four weeks at a time.

How long did it take you to settle into your roles? And did things turn out as you expected?