Keyholders' perspective on the dynamic

Belle dropped a comment in another thread that hits the nail on the head. I wanted to pull her thought out and give it its own space because I feel it’s too precious for everyone else not to see…

member_0fe7c9ef96 wrote:Those of us who are married or partnered while practicing chastity often carry guilt about denying ourselves orgasms, even though we know that’s what our partner wants. The main hurdle I see is Guilt!!! (As Belle pointed out above). Picture a totally ordinary couple in an ordinary relationship. It’s perfectly normal for the woman to pleasure her man orally or manually without expecting anything back. But how normal would it seem if he was doing the same thing—pleasuring his partner orally or manually—with no expectation of, or receipt from, reciprocation? Not very likely… If his buddies found out, they’d probably tease him ruthlessly or even exclude him…. From our perspective, receiving without giving feels “normal.” So we’re baffled why our wives wouldn’t be thrilled to get this all the time. It’s such a minor adjustment for us because it aligns with how we see relationships: one partner gets while not having to give. The next time you feel frustrated and wonder “why won’t my wife _____?”, try looking at it through her eyes. Consider the guilt she might be wrestling with.